


The One with the Threesome, and when Thor got Laid

by writingramblr



Series: Avengers in the Big Apple [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Friends AU, Friends to Lovers, bad language, bruce/tony brotp, flashback first few chaps, hotter and sexier, inappropriate content discussed, love is angsty, thor/loki bromance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-29 17:44:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 24,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingramblr/pseuds/writingramblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's all in the title, but in truth, so much more happens.<br/>We find out What Happened that Night in...College. According to both Clint and Nat.<br/>We meet Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis.<br/>Thor goes on a first date.<br/>Phil dies.<br/>Just kidding!<br/>Phil is fine.<br/>Tony makes an honest woman out of Pepper...er, wait, she makes an honest man out of HiM.<br/>And the inevitable happens, Friends keep secrets from each other, potentially dangerous ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That night according to: Natalie

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how racy this entire story could be taken, so i upped the rating to Mature, just to be safe.

_**That** night in senior year..._

***

“C’mon guys, how hard can it be?”

She waved a hand in the general direction of a slightly shell shocked looking freshmen, who looked even more nervous when he caught the glare Clint was sending his way.

“Look babe, could you go over to Kate’s Hooch and get me three bottles of booze? Listen carefully, one bottle of Absolut Citron, one bottle of Absolut, plain or whatever they call it, and one bottle of American Honey. It’s whiskey. Okay? Here, be quick now.” She shoved three 20’s into his sweaty hand, and gave him a gentle shove towards the door.

The dorm was currently raging and bouncing off the walls, considering finals were only a month away, but to Natalie, it only made sense to get all the partying out of the way now, rather than later.

She turned to Clint, who still looked rather disgruntled.

“Did you see that dweeb? He didn’t take his eyes off your rack.”

Natalie glanced down; she was wearing a black pushup bra under one of Clint’s white tank tops. It didn’t leave much to the imagination, but it was pretty comfy. It also made her chest look amazing.

“Dude. Loosen up.”

After the guy returned with the bottles, Natalie proceeded to thank him with a chaste peck on the cheek, which sent him running off with darkening cheeks.

“Awww Nat. I think he liked you.”

Clint could afford to rib her, now that she had her drink in hand.

“Yep. SHOTS ALL AROUND!”

She leapt up onto the counter of the makeshift bar in the main socializing center of the dorm, and proceeded to pour at least three dozen shots, mostly in differing size glasses.

Eventually the crowd thinned out, and she still had half a bottle of Absolut Citron left, so she motioned for Clint to join her.

“Let’s toast, to us, best friends, til the end. Til we’re forced to go out and face the big scary world of being an adult.”  
They clinked glasses, and downed the sweet smelling, but throat burning liquor.

Clint tried to keep from gagging.

“Why do you like this stuff so much anyway? That whiskey was so much smoother.”

Natalie rolled her eyes at him,

“It’s vodka. It’s of a Russian heritage. I’m majoring in Russian---something with books, so I need to immerse myself in the culture.”

“You know, I have this friend, he’s Russian at heart too. He’s in my advanced Calculus class. You want to meet him?”

Natalie arched a red eyebrow,

“What’s his name?”

“Peter. But he likes Petroff too.”

She shrugged.

“Why not? If he’s cute, maybe we can even sleep with him. If you want.”

Clint’s eyes nearly went wide at the thought and he missed the seductive look she shot his way. Natalie was okay with a threesome? They weren’t even a couple, but still. Suddenly he wished he had more girl friends than just her. He might have been able to have a more attractive threesome. He’d take what he could get though.

“Let me go text him okay?”

Natalie nodded, and after he had stepped out into the hall, she grabbed the half melted ice bucket, and poured it over her front, only shivering slightly, before taking a sip of her orange vodka. It warmed her all the way through, and the wetness causing her shirt to stick to her skin only barely relieved the heat.

“Clint! Cliiiint.” She called out, melodiously flooding the man in questions eardrums with a sirens song.

“Yes my goddess?” he asked, falling to his knees in worship of her glorious form.

“Is your friend joining us or do I need to invite a friend of my own?”

“Whatever pleases you my queen. And he is on his way, but would not be opposed to another. Especially if it was a woman.” Clint tried not to give away the eagerness with his voice, but his eyes told the whole story.

Natalie smiled,

“Let’s go to my place, Maria’s off studying in the library til dawn, the silly bookworm. We can use her bed too if we need too.”

The rest of the night was a blur, as Peter, or Petroff, had brought along some bottles of his liquor, and the three, (or was it four?) of them had a blast.

At one point, Clint had even drank straight from a bottle, before pouring it over Petroff and leaned over to---

***

**Present day:**

*****  
**

Natalie’s eyes snapped open as Clint began ranting,

“Whoa, whoa, WHOA! I didn’t do that! And his name wasn’t even that. It was James Winters. I still keep in touch with him. I also think he left after you started walking around the dorm, naked, singing a horrible version of the Russian national anthem. Where did you even learn that?”

Clint had held a hand up to Natalie’s mouth, to stop the babbling nonsense she had been saying, and before he could move it, she had nipped on his middle finger.

“Ouch!”

“How do you know that’s what happened? You drank just as much or more than I did. Whatever his name was, he had a talented tongue.” Natalie smiled dreamily, and hummed like a contented cat at the memory.

“Listen Nat, I hate to burst your bubble, but this is how the night really went.”

***

TBC


	2. That Night according to:Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Or what really happened.

_**THAT** Night according to Clint:_

***

“Here, take this list and the money and get _exactly_ what it says, or she’ll have my, well you get the picture.” Clint shoved the items in James’ hands and he smiled knowingly, sparing a glance toward Natalie, the ‘she’ in question, who was sitting on top of the bar in the middle of the commons, humming slightly to herself, before he took off into the hall.

Clint walked over to her, and put his hands on his hips, trying not to look too angry,

“Will you come down from there please? The party is nearly over. Everyone’s gotta get back and try to study. Finals are only four weeks away.”

Natalie looked down; smiling at him at first, then she frowned, as she realized what he had said,

“Don’t be stupid Clint. That’s plenty of time to study. What are you some kind of geek like Maria? Pssh.” She waved a hand at him, and he sighed.

“No. of course I’ll stay here with you until your booze arrives. But then can we please go back to your dorm? I don’t want you getting mugged on the way.”

Natalie glanced down at herself, plucking slightly at the impossibly tight white tank top she wore over a black lace bra, no padding needed. On her bottom half she wore only a simple denim mini skirt.

“I can take care of myself. I’m taking classes for that. Relax.” She drew out the one syllable word to an incredibly long one, and Clint shook his head. He had _never_ seen her this drunk, and she was just getting started. The party had gotten into full swing around ten, when most of the college students finished classes or got off work, and the punch that had been brought in several large jugs, had contained something more potent than Natalie’s precious vodka.

Clint had only had a couple sips worth, then passed his red plastic cup to her, and she had taken to it like a fish to water. When the party had begun to die down, she insisted on taking off her shoes and climbing up to play bartender, before realizing she needed something to serve. She had, loudly and very forcefully, as Clint recalled, ordered him to make a shopping list, and ‘Send the flying monkeys to do my bidding.’ As she had put it. He had decided to urge everyone to head home, and hoped that once she had her final drink, she’d be ready to be put to bed as well.

Luckily, James returned before Natalie could start removing any more items of clothing, and when he passed her the bottles, she grinned at him, leaning in close, and lowering her eyelids to the smoldering, or more accurate, nearly drunk off her ass, look, whispering,

“Want to come back to my place? We could all have a bit of fun.” She winked, leaving no doubt in his mind to what sort of “fun” she meant.

James looked hastily at Clint for an out, and he motioned something Natalie didn’t quite understand, but then he replied,

“Sorry love. I’ve got someone waiting for me already, I’m sure Clint can take care of you just fine.”

“Thanks man.”

“See ya.”

Clint gave his friend a mock salute, and tried to prevent Natalie from falling directly onto the floor, large glass bottles in hand.

He scooped her into his arms, Prince Charming style, and hoped to hell she wouldn’t remember this tomorrow, or he’d never hear the end of it.

“Oooh wow. You’re so strong Clint. Your arm muscles are sooo sexy. How have I never noticed this? We should sleep together.”

“Don’t worry, we will.” He grunted out, because despite his strength, she was beginning to grow a bit heavy.

Thankfully they reached her dorm in record speed, and after he set her down on her bed, as gently as possible, to prevent any broken glass, she reached up and gripped his wrist like a vise.

“Yes?”

“Maria won’t be back til late. You should stay. Maybe your friend will come back.”

Clint rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, exasperated. He was in a very precarious position, as much as he wanted to, every day, he never had pressed the issue of them becoming more than just friends. He was rather afraid he would become the clingy pathetic one, and she would move on too easily. So he’d kept his distance. But tonight, his resistance was slowly crumbling.

When she pried open the bottle of orange, (or was it lemon?) flavored vodka, and started pouring it over his arm, he protested loudly,

“What the hell?”

“I just want to see if you taste as good as you look.” Natalie purred, and he instantly froze, afraid to move, that perhaps this was all just a fever dream brought on by the tiny amount of mysterious punch he had consumed.

She resumed drenching his chest and arms, and after sitting for a moment, soaked in cold alcohol, he pulled his shirt off, with a little resistance from the fact it was completely wet.

“Happy now?”

“Mmm yes.” She leaned forward and slowly licked from his navel up towards his abs.

Clint gulped, and tried not to blush.

“Maybe we could shut the door?” he asked weakly, hoping the crack in his voice had just been his imagination.

“Of course. Please do.” Natalie drained the rest of the bottle in three large gulps, and tossed it aside.

“Is that better?” Clint asked, turning back to see Natalie lazily slipping off the white tank top, leaving her breasts hidden behind a few scraps of black lace. She smirked, and beckoned him closer,

“Yes it is. You and your friend can now ravish me all night. At least until Maria busts us.”

Clint glanced around,

“What friend?”

Natalie jerked a finger over towards his left,

“Him. He looks a bit like you. Are you twins? Why didn’t you tell me you had a twin Clint? I’ve always wanted to do twins.” Her eyes fell shut momentarily, and she moaned loudly, making Clint rather uncomfortable, standing there shirtless, and with a quite obvious reaction to her level of undress and candor.

“Maybe we should go to bed now.” He mumbled, and she nodded, her eyes still closed.

If she started touching herself, he was going to go insane. Clint strode over to the bed, gently moved the remaining bottles of liquor to the floor, and pulled her into his arms, which she nuzzled like a cat.

“Sleep now. Everything will be fine.” He whispered, and she nodded sleepily, and then was asleep. Clint knew from Maria that Natalie reacted to a ton of booze the same way men reacted to sex. Sleep was inevitable to follow.

 In the morning, Natalie had a recollection of the previous night’s events, but only Clint knew the truth. He let her assume whatever after she woke up in his arms, clothing scattered about the room, and the fierce glare of Maria enough to send him heading to his own dorm.

***

  **Present day:**

 **  
*****

“Are you out of your mind? That’s not what happened.”

Natalie huffed and folded her arms across her chest, facing away from Clint, so he wouldn’t have any chance to ogle her.

“I’m sorry Nat. I couldn’t bear to have you think nothing had happened, when clearly you felt better thinking _a lot_ had.”

“SO what you’re saying is, I considered myself more of a slut than I was, and I seemed happy, so you let me keep believing that? Thanks a lot.”

Clint shrugged,

“Well we didn’t sleep together as many times as you thought, that’s really all that’s changed.”

Natalie frowned, he was right. But there was another thing,

“It also means I’ve yet to have a threesome. At least with two guys.” She smirked at him and left him to guess the rest of what she meant.

His eyes widened,

“You mean! You and Maria--? Who was the guy? Did I know him? Why didn’t you ask me?”

Natalie stood up, and the view of her in just her underwear did manage to distract Clint momentarily, but not long enough for him to drop the issue,

“Who says we can’t still do that?”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. We’re not in college anymore. I can hold my liquor now. It’s not that big of a deal. You’d be cooler if we stuck to my version of the story. You’d come out on top. . .figuratively at least.” She smiled a Cheshire cat grin, before turning away to resume finding something to wear.

Clint mumbled and muttered to himself before suddenly a thought struck him,

“I know just the person to ask.”


	3. Intriguing Like Blueprints

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'msorryi'msorry

Tapping her black ballet flat clad toe, Pepper huffed out a breath impatiently, causing a stray lock of strawberry blond hair to flutter up and away from her eyes, as she raised a fist to pound on the door.

She had decided to dress to impress, but not something disgusting like the women Tony usually liked would wear.

When the door finally opened, Tony’s face changed rapidly from calm playfulness, to a shocked and maybe even a little curious expression.

Pepper had chosen a long sleeved black t-shirt, with a decent scoop neck, showing off the girls, but not so trashy to have them falling out. It was paired with plain black leggings that made her legs look endless. Where they did end, the leggings met the shiny leather flats.

Her hair she had left in soft waves, and parted deeply to the left. She tiled her head, causing the waves to shift, and she raised her eyebrows at him,

“May I come in?”

Tony was still rather flabbergasted, and simply nodded, moving aside as she strode forward.

“What’s up? Er. Why are you here?”

He finally had found his words, but he stumbled over them, as she turned around to face him, standing with her hand on her right hip, trying to play it cool, channeling her inner Audrey Hepburn.

“Oh not much. I was just coming by to make sure Bruce hadn’t killed you in your sleep. Or poisoned your alcohol stash. Slashed you with many paper cuts. Because those are the only reasons you would be unable to reach your phone. In fact, I doubt you ever let go of it. So tell me something, how hard would it have been to make one extra phone call? Something along the lines of, ‘I had a great time at dinner, when are you free next week?’ or even, ‘I had a great time at dinner, but I’m booked all next week. How about I call you again tomorrow and let you know when I’m free?’ But no. Nothing. Zip. Nada. So, what’s your excuse, Mister Stark?”

She had now crossed her arms in front of her chest, and Tony was fighting with all his might not to let his gaze drop below her neck, as he knew she could easily hit him.

“Uh, yeah, the thing is Pepper, I _have_ been busy. But you’re right; I haven’t been far from my trusty cell phone.” He gave a nervous chuckle, and then gulped. Pepper’s gaze had become frosty, and the air seemed to have dropped a few degrees. The ice queen was getting angry.

“I’m sorry. I was going to call. I just forgot.”

“Obviously. It’s been two weeks and more. What’s the verdict? Am I worth a phone call or not?”

Tony nodded weakly before realizing it would be better to speak,

“Yes, very much so. You’re quite . . .intriguing. Like the blueprints for this new automatic bow I’ve been designing. Every time I think I have it, something new pops up that needs figuring.” As soon as the words left his mouth and her expression darkened, he knew he had screwed up.

Her strawberry blond eyebrow arched,

“So I’m just like a work project? With elements that simply need to be discovered and programmed?” her voice grower a bit high pitched with anger, and her foot had begun tapping again, except it wasn’t just her foot now, she felt the fury throughout her body, and she didn’t move her hands from where they were hidden, she was sure they would be shaking.

Tony gulped, and threw a glance back at his office, praying that Bruce would be eavesdropping and able to provide backup, just in case Pepper had any sort of sharp stick with her.

No sign of his partner. He was on his own.

He smiled, and hoped his voice wouldn’t crack,

“Pepper. Maybe we could just start over? Let’s grab lunch tomorrow. I’ll clear my whole day, and the rest of the plans could be up to you. You name it. As long as I can redeem myself. I’ll do anything.”

Despite herself, Pepper began to soften her expression and her rigid stance,

“Well, if anything is up to me then I think I’ll have to say, we should have lunch in the park instead of some swanky restaurant where I feel like everyone is judging me for my five dollar haircut and second hand dress.” she eyed him carefully as she spoke, and saw him visibly relax, it seemed he had been bracing himself for something much worse.

Tony spread his arms wide, grinning earnestly,

“Why didn’t you say something? I only like that restaurant for its wine variety; we never have to go there again if you don’t want. Also, I could take you shopping, you pick out a new dress, throw in a couple pairs of shoes, the works. In addition, I think your hair is lovely, no matter what the cut cost.”

Pepper had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling like a sap. He thought her hair was pretty? He was a charmer indeed. She stuck out her hand, nodding briskly, and in business fashion, replied evenly,

“That sounds satisfactory; I will see you tomorrow afternoon, no later than 12:30.”

Tony took her hand, shaking it twice, and squeezing gently, and when she made no move to pull away, he sensed all was forgiven, at least for now.

Before she could extract her hand, he had suddenly tugged it, and she followed without thinking. In seconds, there was barely six inches between them, and when he pulled her hand to his lips to kiss it gently, she found herself at a loss for words.

“Until then, Miss Potts.”

She swallowed, and nodded distractedly, as he finally let her hand go, and she walked out the door, her head still fuzzy and her stomach rather fluttery.

‘What just happened?’ she thought to herself, as she pushed the elevator button on autopilot, as any serious cognitive function had been zapped the instant his lips had touched her skin.


	4. Walk of Shame

Bruce peeked out from the office, just as Tony snapped the front door shut.

“So, I guess that went okay.”

Tony gave out a noncommittal snort and turned around, frowning at his roommate,

“Thanks a lot for your help by the way.”

Bruce shrugged,

“You did fine all by yourself. You gotta be a man sometime. Or someday. You didn’t die yesterday when Maria was clearly ready to tear you limb from limb. Today you faced down an angry Ice Princess; I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”

Tony grinned,

“Queen. She’s an Ice Queen Bruce. A fiery one. Fire and ice. What a combination.”

He sighed in a way that could only be described as a bit dazed, and stared off into the distance, no doubt picturing Pepper.

Bruce cleared his throat,

“So, she looks pretty good in all black. Like a cat. And that hair, hmmm, I bet it feels like silk.”

Tony’s gaze snapped to his face, and he swore that he growled,

“Hands off. I’ve already been on a date with her, and now I have another.”

Bruce chuckled, hands rising in surrender,

“No argument here. I was just starting a fact we all know. Besides, you know she’s gonna drain you dry tomorrow. She’ll pick the most expensive dress and shoes. You’ll regret promising ‘anything.””

Tony shook his head, clapping a hand on Bruce’s shoulder as he walked by, headed for his work table.

“Nope. She’s worth it. Every penny.”

***

Natalie had spent most of the morning lounging in bed, too lazy to get up and shower. Clint had left at a quarter til eleven, insisting he was planning to meet Steve for lunch during his short break. She waved him off, but made him promise not to bring up ‘the plan’ until they were all together at the same time.

She writhed about, savoring the feeling of her sheets against her mostly bare skin, and would have drifted off again if it hadn’t been for the slamming of the front door.

Maria was home.

She groaned and reluctantly shoved off the covers, jumping up to slip on her dark evergreen bathrobe.

She padded out to the kitchen to see her roommate fiddling with the coasters on the island.

“Where’ve ya been all morning? And night.” She added after a moment of hesitation.

Maria’s cobalt eyes rose up to meet hers, and Natalie was stunned to see they looked wet with tears.

“I’ve just been out. I went over to confront Tony last night, and then when I came back here, you were out of it, so I just crashed. I think our fight took it all out of me. This morning I woke up around six, and couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t want to wake you, so I went for a walk, and had breakfast at Central Perk. I also picked up an application, but when I started filling it out I started crying, and I couldn’t have Loki see me like that, so I left.” She tossed a tightly folded six inch or so wide bundle of paper onto the island in front of Natalie. She sighed and picked it up, unfolding it carefully. Maria’s handwriting was infuriatingly tidy for someone who’s writing resembled chicken scratch, a fact her college professors had given her hell for her entire time at school. Maria had gotten all the way to the section of past employment and references, before any sign of water damage could be noticed. Luckily she had filled it out in pencil, so the folding of it had not caused any bleeding ink.

“Oh sweetie. Come here.” Natalie opened her arms and embraced her friend. She wasn’t an overly affectionate person, but Maria seemed to know just how to push her buttons, whether they were arguing, or being sappy.

“I’m sorry.” Maria’s voice was muffled by the robe, but Natalie heard her regardless.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about past employments. Just make a list of the clubs you headed in college, and put your professor in charge as the boss. You can list me as a reference. Heck, I bet you could put Tony down also, he owes you.” She smiled at Maria, who managed to crack a grin,

“Okay. Thanks. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for.”

Natalie rolled her eyes,

“Let’s not be too ‘Hallmarky’ this early okay?” but as she turned to start the coffee pot, she couldn’t hide another smile.

“So what should I do? I could do laundry, clean the floor, whatever you need.” Maria provided eagerly, and Natalie laughed,

“Whatever floats your boat. I’ve gotta get ready for work in less than an hour, so you’ll have the place all to yourself. Just promise you won’t invite any company over, at least until I get home, okay?” she pinched Maria’s cheek playfully, and strode back towards her bedroom and bathroom, clutching a steaming mug of strong black coffee, the scent of which was already making her mouth water.


	5. Out of Focus

“YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!”

“I’LL DO WHAT I WANT!”

“BROTHER, I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN! Go outside, walk around, get some fresh air, but do not stay here any longer. You are making it very difficult for me to get _any_ work done.”

Loki glared at his brother, who frowned just as ferociously back. He couldn’t argue any longer. Thor was right. Loki was always bored and restless on his days off, as he had no real hobby or anything beside causing trouble to do. Thor meanwhile, was _trying_ to do some work, as he was collaborating with Tony Stark on some sort of solar and lunar powered energy panels.

It seemed not all of the general public could afford the self sustaining engines and generators Stark Industries had made. Now they were branching out and trying to help little ‘mom and pop’ businesses keep afloat in an ever changing modern world.

“Very well brother. But if when I return you still haven’t progressed, you can no longer blame me for your failings.”

He strode purposefully towards the front door, his black leather jacket held carelessly in his hand as he jerked the door open with his free one, and slammed it shut with all his might, snickering as he heard Thor curse at him.

 Heimdall glared reproachfully from where he sat perched upon Thor’s desk, basking in the warm morning sunshine. Thor reached over to stroke the fur behind his neck, and the black cat responded with a loud purr.

“He means well. He does. I just focus better when I’m alone.” The blond man turned back to the empty sheets of parchment and leaned over them, his hand quickly beginning to sketch.

 

Loki thumbed the elevator button harder than most likely necessary and stood engrossed in thought, wondering where he should go. A thought struck him, and he glanced at his watch, nearly after four, a certain redhead would be hard at work right now, and could probably use a distraction. Even if she couldn’t, he would provide one regardless.

He grinned as he heard the elevator ding, and he stepped in, the grin not fading even long after the doors had slide shut.

***

Phil felt his phone buzzing in his jeans pocket as he sat perched on a barstool in Central Perk, and he reached to pull it out, smiling as he saw Pepper’s name on the display,

“Hey how’s it going? Heard from that playboy yet?”

“Phil! I’m so glad I reached you. I did what you suggested. I went over to his apartment last night, and let him have it. And he still asked me out again! We’re having lunch today. I’m very excited. What should I wear? Something sexy again? Or casual?”

Phil smiled. He knew Tony Stark wasn’t as dumb as he seemed.

“That’s great to hear. All I can say is, be yourself. What would you wear for a lunch date with a friend? Or just lunch out by yourself?”

“Phil. I don’t go out with friends to lunch. And I definitely don’t go out by myself. Who does that?”

Phil didn’t reply, and simply took a large sip of his coffee.

On the other end of the phone, Pepper sighed, realizing her mistake.

“I’m sorry. I forgot how busy you can get. Forgive me?”

Phil shrugged, completely aware she couldn’t see him,

“I don’t know. . . I think you might have to take me to lunch to make it up to me. Maybe borrow some money from your new rich boyfriend. . .”

Pepper inhaled sharply, and Phil could just imagine her expression,

“He’s not my boyfriend! We’ve only been out once. Honestly. But of course, I’d love to have lunch with you. You could even bring Nick along.”

Phil glanced over and down the bar, to where Nick was discussing something with another customer, and he shrugged again,

“Sure. Sounds good. Only if you can bring a friend for him. He needs a good woman.”

Pepper scoffed,

“I’m not going to play matchmaker for him. He’s a good looking guy who owns a nice business; he should have women clamoring for his attention.”

“Well, he doesn’t. Besides, you owe me big time for that solo lunch crack.”

“Phil! It was an accident! I wasn’t trying to be mean. I’m sorry.”

“Hmm nope. Not gonna cut it. I still need a nice lunch.” He kept the stern tone to his voice, but what Pepper couldn’t see was his cheeky grin.

She sighed heavily on the other end, flooding his earpiece with static,

“Alright fine. But I better let you go now; I’ve got to find something to wear.”

Phil rolled his eyes.

“You women. Spending all that time to get dolled up, when we are just happy to spend a minute in your thoughts. Have a nice day Pepper, and be sure to have fun.”

“Thanks Phil. You take care.”

_*CLICK*_


	6. Try Not To Freak Out

Tony was rummaging through his closest, looking for a casual yet still businesslike suit, when Bruce strolled in, leisurely smoking a very wide cigar, most likely filled with a special blend of weed, and probably illegal Cuban tobacco.

“What are you doing?”

Tony paused mid-toss,

“WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? Pepper’s expecting me in half an hour and I have no idea what to wear!”

Bruce exhaled a large cloud of smoke,

“You’re acting like the girl. Does that make her the man? I swear. . . just wear the same thing you wore to that Superbowl party, it won’t make any difference. She’s not going to care what you wear.”

Tony glared at him, before finally settling on a deep blue shirt, and some good old jeans.

“Thanks for your help ‘roomie.’”

He quickly shed his black basketball shorts and white wife beater, and slipped on the nicer clothes, and as an afterthought, slipped a silver grey tie on with the blue shirt. It brought out the few streaks of grey that had begun to show up in his black hair. “A sign of wisdom,” as his dad called them.

He slipped on his most worn pair of black leather shoes, and grabbed his cell and keys, and was out the door before Bruce could make any more scathing remarks.

He was remarkably snarky when high.

**

He leapt out of the taxicab, just as he saw Pepper walk around the corner. He pulled the wicket basket with their lunch in it off the seat and handed the driver a $20 for his trouble.

Tony had insisted on going to a bistro nearly three miles from the park, before realizing how much of a time crunch it would be to get back. Luckily, he had convinced the cabby to bend a few speed limits and made it in time.

Pepper was wearing a lovely yellow dress printed with light pink and purple flowers, which managed to go well with her hair, instead of clash with it.

She had left it down in his favorite style, strawberry blond waves, and it fluttered slightly in the breeze, making her look rather ethereal.

“You came.” She smiled at him, and nodded towards the basket,

“You make all that yourself?”

Tony grinned sheepishly,

“I might have had some help. . .”

Pepper shrugged,

“Food is food right? Let’s go find somewhere to sit. I brought a blanket.”

 She reached down into her large floral print purse, and pulled out a red plaid blanket, and he marveled at the amount of things women could store in seemingly small places.

Tony strode over to a spot of grass with no visible mole hills or ant hills, and with a small patch of shade, and declared it the perfect place.

“Let’s eat.”

***

Loki recalled mid-fuming-angry-walk that the Friday previous had been payday, and he could stop by work and get his second paycheck.

He decided it was as good as any of an idea for something to do.

As he pushed open the door, he sighed happily, his entire body relaxing at the scent of fresh brewed coffee.

Nick spotted him from behind the counter, and waved him over.

“Hey boss. What’s up? I came by for my check.”

Nick nodded and handed it to him, but as Loki reached to take it, he held onto the end, and leaned forward,

“Do you have any idea how busy it gets on your days off? Why is that? How did I get so lucky? I have the best worker, but unfortunately you’re not able to work 24/7. Have you got any friends who need work? I could use more like you.”

Loki grinned, and as Nick let go of the envelope, he held out another one. He had swiped it from the mailbox out front, and he put it directly in Nick’s hands.

“This is an application from an acquaintance, I owe her a favor. Look it over. I’m going to see her friend and I’ll get an idea of how often she can work.”

Nick looked skeptical, but shrugged, and pulled out his pocket knife, slitting open the envelope to read the first sentence.

“’Maria Hill?’ What’s she like? Does she like coffee as much as you do?”

Loki nodded,

“Oh yeah. She’s also a nice girl. She’d probably get you more business. She has a lovely smile too.”

Nick raised an eyebrow,

“She’s not your girlfriend is she? Cause you know that’s a conflict of interest, or some such.”

“Nope. She’s not; she’s just a friend of a friend. I’ve gotta get going now. Think about it.”

Nick nodded. He was a fair employer, and would be happy to give any hard worker a chance, but knowing Loki, it was hard to tell when he was kidding and when he was being serious.

***

Natalie was engrossed in her work. The old musty and dusty tomes of foreign history were her weakness. The reason she had accepted the job. Filing books might sound boring to some, but to her it was a sure fire way to fill her list of 'to-read' books for the coming months.  
She didn't hear anything, but rather felt a pair of eyes on her back.

She turned to find Loki studying her, a strange look on his face. Not curiosity, or disdain, but maybe more of a solemn expression. He wasn't in a joking mood.

"I need your help."

"Finding a book?"

He shook his head, and then jerked his thumb back towards the reference desk,

"You see that girl?"

Natalie followed his gaze,

"Ah. Jane. I held up my end of the bet. You got your money; you got her number, now what? You want me to build you up? I ain't helpin’ ya buddy boy. Since when did you lose your mojo anyway?"  
Loki sighed impatiently and shook his head,  
"Not exactly. I was hoping to bring Thor around to meet her. She's not my type. Plus she hates me. I just wanted to know specifically what days she'll be here. I wouldn't want to drag Thor all the way here just to be forced to act as if I'm interested in any of this stuff." This time disdain was evident in his face as he gazed at the books she was still holding.

Natalie frowned,  
"You hate school so much that any sort of chance at learning you avoid? That's a tragedy. But okay. Jane works every day but Saturday and Sunday. A girl named Darcy works before her; Jane usually works the desk after their noon lunch break. Tuesday and Thursday she works the checkout desk. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Darcy works the front desk. Don’t mix the days up alright? So while she’s at the checkout desk, you or rather, Thor wouldn't need an excuse to see her. Just grab any book," she sighed, "Or movie." She finished reluctantly. As if the very word offended her. She couldn't understand why a library would bother stocking media. People could easily rent movies anywhere else in the city. But still, people would drop off movies in the return box until eventually they had to make a section for them.  
Loki nodded and helped her to her feet,  
"Thank you for your assistance.”   
Natalie smiled,  
"See? That wasn't so bad. Maybe we can be friends after all. Oh, but I do have one favor to ask, but you owe it anyway. Maria hasn’t got any job history, and I’ve put myself, Tony, and her English professor as her references. Try to help her out, you know, let your boss know she’d be a good worker.”

Loki's brow furrowed and then relaxed,

“Were we ever at odds? And yes, certainly, I can and will put in a few good words for Maria. Her references will surely be helpful as well. Have a good day and have fun with all your ah, texts." He smirked and gave a final disapproving gaze to the books and was gone.  
"Okay then." Natalie muttered to herself, resuming her work.


	7. Mild Meddling Between Friends

When Natalie arrived home from the library, she was worn out. Tired and sore from filing books, she headed straight to the shower, without even bothering to check her phone.

Only after she had emerged, brand squeaky clean, and clad in a towel, with a second wrapped about her head, did she head for her purse.

She flicked her phone awake, and noticed she had several missed calls and a few texts from Clint. She pressed TALK and put the phone on speaker, setting it back on the counter so she could undo her hair from the towel and begin fluffing it dry.

“Hello? Nat?”

“Hey Clint what’s up?”

“Are you busy?”

“Kind of. What did you need?”

“I was just hoping you could come over. Did you still want to ask Steve about . . . ya know?”

Natalie laughed,

“Why are you suddenly so shy? Wasn’t this your idea?”

“Yeah well. He’s still my roommate. I don’t want things getting awkward if he sees me naked.”

Natalie scoffed,

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve never walked in on each other in the buff, even by accident?”

“Yeah well that doesn’t count. It was just that, an accident. This would be completely planned, and you would be there too.”

“Well duh. You think I’d pass up my chance to be in a hunk sandwich?” She chuckled, as she pictured Clint’s indignant expression.

“Yeah yeah. So when can you come down?”

“After I finish getting dressed. Or did you want me to come over in just a towel? That would be a conversation starter.”

She heard Clint gulp,

“Nah. You take your time. I’ll tell Steve . . . something. See ya in a bit Nat.”

_* CLICK*_

Natalie rolled her eyes, and finished toweling off. She walked back into her bedroom and surveyed the back of her door, where she stored most clothing items which had only been worn once. A simple black tank and jeans would be good enough. Her red hair was quickly drying into waves, which she carefully finger combed and scrunched. She slipped on a pair of plain leather ballet flats, and was out the door.

***

“Hey Steve? Nat’s coming over in a minute. Can you whip up some nachos or something?” Clint called from the bathroom, where he stood, doing his best to flatten his wild light brown hair. He didn’t exactly know why he was suddenly so skittish about seeing her. Perhaps it was merely the idea of nookie with another guy in the same area.

Steve looked up from where he sat lounging on the couch, simply browsing the channels, distracted to watch something other than “Light of Our Love.”

“Sure, I can do that. Is she staying a while?” He tried not to sound too hopeful; the fact was he felt as if he hadn’t seen the lovely redhead in ages.

He hoped she wasn’t avoiding him.

“I have no idea man. I guess she’ll stay as long as she wants.” Clint yelled back, still debating whether he should be ballsy and stay shirtless, or put on a dark grey shirt that Natalie had given him after graduation. He didn’t want to look too douchy or desperate.

He decided to go with no shirt. Maybe Natalie would be up for the idea of just the two of them rekindling their Friends with Benefits.

“Extra cheese and salsa?” Steve called from the kitchen, and Clint grinned,

“Yep. That’s just the way she likes ‘em.”

***

Tony was humming as he walked back in the apartment, and Bruce looked him over skeptically.

“Did you kids have fun?”

Tony smirked,

“Oh yeah. I think she had the best date ever. I had a great time too.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows,

“Aaand? What happened after the picnic?”

Tony plopped down on the worn leather couch, reaching blindly for a smoke, and lighting it casually,

“Well just like I promised, I took her shopping. She didn’t stop smiling, I swear. She’s like an angel when she smiles. I loved seeing her so happy.” He inhaled deeply, and his eyes fell shut as he exhaled slowly.

Bruce nodded,

“I see. Sounds like you like her.”

Tony hummed again,

“Oh yeah. It’s crazy. She’s completely nuts, but she’s so much fun, and when she relaxes, she’s like a different girl. It’s weird.”

Bruce shrugged and settled back against his desk, his free hand idly tracing the blueprints piled there.

“Good for you.”

Tony glanced at him, eyes narrowed,

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing nothing. Just haven’t gotten any work done while you’ve been out on the town.”

Tony waved a hand lazily,

“It’s not a big deal. Take tomorrow off too. We’ll get back to the grindstone Wednesday morning.”

Bruce sighed, and took a long drag on his joint.

Tony sensed he was still holding something back.

“Is everything alright? You’re acting like something’s up . . . with a girl. Are there girl troubles brewing in that mind of yours?”

Bruce shrugged again,

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Tony cocked an eyebrow,

“Now now Brucie, you can’t hide it. Who is she and what’s she done to drive you to distraction?”

Bruce glared at him, and shrugged a third time, a sure sign he was indeed agitated.

“Tony, just drop it. It’s no big deal.”

He ignored Bruce, and whipped out his cell phone, scrolling through the names, and calling out various attractive girls, watching Bruce’s face carefully for any reaction.

By the time he reached the ‘ _M’s_ ’ he could see Bruce’s annoyance beginning to crack his calm façade.

He spoke one word, and Bruce exploded.

“Maria?”

A single fist was all that met his side, but it was enough to wind him, and he rose up as quickly as possible in a defensive position,

“So you _DO_ like someone! For you, I will help. Free of charge.”

Bruce pulled back his fist, eager to strike again, but then he slumped over, and shook his head.

“You’re not worth it. It’s not worth it. I don’t want to mess up our friendship. It’s just a silly crush. It’s stupid. I’m a grown man. I’m too old for her anyway. I’m sure she likes Loki. She spends more time with him. She might end up working with him. Then she’ll be around him all the time.”

Tony shook his head,

“Trifles. You’re being ridiculous. She doesn’t have any bit of an interest in him. Not like she does for you. I’ve seen it. When we’re all together, she stares at you sometimes. You’re too thick skulled to notice. Listen, just text her something. A quick hello. Something casual, something you. See what she says. Gage the tone of her response.”

Tony’s smile was for once so sincere, honest, hopeful, and insanely sappy, that Bruce sighed in annoyance, slowly reached over to pick up his cell, deftly typed a one word greeting, and set the phone back down.

“We’ll see.”


	8. Smelly Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You knew this reference was coming...admit it.  
> Please, skip to the end of the chapter to read it.   
> No, on second thought, don't.  
> Just try not to hum along.

Maria heard her phone chirp as she sat in Central Perk, having been called back by Nick Fury himself, who was eager for her to start the next morning if possible. She knew deep down she had Loki to thank for this, and she pulled out her phone, hoping it would be the prankster himself, however, it was an unfamiliar number showing on the screen, above a simple “Hello.”

Who could that be? Unless Loki had stolen someone’s cell and was merely playing a trick on her.

She grinned and typed back,

“ **And who might this be?”**

A few minutes passed, and then her phone chirped again,

“ ** _This is Bruce. Do you not have my number?”_**

Maria swore her heart skipped a beat. Her ears suddenly began to fill with a roaring noise, like ocean waves with the volume cranked up. She gripped the edge of the counter until her knuckles turned white, and then she blinked, realizing she needed to respond lest he think her an idiot.

“ **Oh, hi. Well no I didn’t, but now I guess I do =)”**

She gulped, and took a quick sip of her iced chai latte, hoping that it would calm her.

Another chirp,

**_“Good to know =) how has your day been?”_ **

‘Oh bother. How am I to sound cool now? I’ve been desperate for a job, and finally got one, possibly thanks to Loki? I can’t say that!’ Maria thought furiously to herself, and eventually typed out,

**“I’ve just been lazy all day. Getting ready to leave Central Perk for home now. You?”**

She stood up, and nodded goodbye to Nick, and started out the door.

She needed to speak to Natalie before talking much more with Bruce. She couldn’t blow this; it was her first bit of good luck in a while.

***

When she returned to the apartment to find Natalie gone, Maria sighed heavily, knowing she had no choice, but to talk to Loki. She owed him thanks for the job help anyway, so it was unavoidable.

She left her shared apartment and stepped across the hall, gently knocking on the brothers’ door.

She was only left to her thoughts for a few moments before the door swung inward, revealing the tall, dark haired younger brother, Loki himself.

His face was at first full of mirth, then he noticed her serious expression, and his eyebrows knit together in concern,

“Is everything alright Maria?”

She nodded, then shrugged, and asked if she could come in, and Loki merely stepped aside, gesturing for her to do just that.

Maria glanced around, making sure they were alone, before launching into a long explanation of what had happened, and slipping in a ‘thank-you’ for the job help right near the end.

Loki smiled warmly, and nodded,

“You’re welcome of course. I’m always glad to help a friend. About Bruce though, I’m unsure if I’m the best person to be giving relationship advice, being the current single bachelor I am.” He smirked slightly, and cocked his left eyebrow at her, and she couldn’t help giggling a bit.

Loki patted her on the shoulder gently,

“That’s better. Now tell me what’s wrong, and how can I help. Has he asked you out and you don’t know if you want to say yes?”

Maria shook her head,

“No it’s not like that. Not yet at least. He’s just begun to text me. I feel so stupid. How can I seem cool, or nonchalant?”

Loki frowned, and gestured for her to sit down. He joined her on the couch, and beckoned his hand, and Heimdall appeared almost out of nowhere, leaping into his lap, eager to be stroked.

“Now, the thing is, you don’t want to fake anything. You don’t have to seem cool, or not interested. He clearly wishes to speak to you, for _you._ Just be yourself. Laugh when he’s funny, call him out if he’s rude, and above all, be open to spending time with him, alone, if he asks. He may just feel uncomfortable speaking with you around the group.”

As Maria processed this, she realized the black cat on Loki’s lap smelled a bit, off. She leaned closer, and the cat eyed her cautiously,

“When was the last time this gorgeous creature had a bath?” she asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Loki pretended not to notice how adorable it made her look, and merely shrugged,

“Maybe a couple days ago?”

Maria gasped, and carefully pried Heimdall from his lap, and stood quickly,

“That’s animal abuse! He needs to be washed, right now.” Loki raised his dark eyebrows in surprise, but made no move to stop her as she walked toward the washroom, Heimdall still looking a bit disgruntled in her arms.

As she got further away from him, he could have sworn he heard her singing softly, “Smelly cat, it’s not your fault.”


	9. Menage a trios

Steve carefully pulled the nachos from toaster oven, set them on the cooling rack, and swiftly pulled off his oven mitts, just in time to hear the knock on the front door. He turned to call out to Clint, but his friend was already striding over to open the door, surprisingly, shirtless.

Steve caught Clint’s eye seconds before the door opened, and with a questioning look, he merely received a shrug in response.

“Natalie! Hey, how are you doing?” Clint smiled warmly, and tried not to notice her questioning look at his lack of attire. He had gone with just light grey sweat pants and a bare chest. It worked to distract her a bit, but then she met his gaze, and shook her head just so.

His smile turned into a grimace, and he shrugged.

Natalie stepped inside the apartment, and raised her nose to inhale more of the delicious scent of fresh baked nachos.

“Do those have extra salsa?” Steve nodded, and tried not to blush as she clapped in delight and strode over to pick one up, not caring it singed her tongue with its heat, only tasting the salty cheese and spicy salsa complimenting each other on the crisp tortilla chip.

She hummed with delight and was unaware just how uncomfortable she made the two guys in the room. Clint had chosen his pants for a reason, they were baggy enough to hide any dangerous reactions, and they were extremely comfy.

Steve gulped, and asked if anyone wanted a beer or soda, and Natalie nodded,

“Do you guys have any of those wine coolers left?”

Clint yanked open the fridge, eager to cool down a bit, and grabbed the first three bottles he saw.

“Peach for you, strawberry for me, and cool lime for you Steve.” He handed out the drinks and quickly popped off the cap to his, downing a large gulp of the refreshing fizzy alcoholic beverage.

Natalie cocked a red eyebrow at the guys, and threw a pointed look at Clint,

“So what’s up? I rushed over here as quick as I could.”

Steve looked rather confused, a normal expression for him, and he turned to Clint expectantly,

“Ah well. You see Nat and I were talking the other day, and there was something we need your advice on.”

Natalie cleared her throat loudly, and shook her head just a tad, and Clint sighed,

“Okay, not advice exactly. Help. We need your help with something.”

Steve looked rather worried as he gazed at his friend,

“What is it? I’ll do whatever I can.”

Natalie smirked at Clint from behind Steve’s back, and her eyes clearly said, ‘Nut up or shut up.’

Clint set his bottle down with a clunk, as it was long empty,

“Steve. Natalie and I want you to join us.”

Steve’s blond eyebrows met in a frown,

“Join you? What do you mean?”

Clint threw a hail Mary of a look at Natalie, and she rolled her eyes, but nodded slightly, setting her hand on Steve’s shoulder, she turned him to face her,

“Steve. We want to have sex with you. All three of us. Together. At the same time. Does that sound like something you would be interested in?”

Clint swallowed heavily, and he could have sworn he could hear his heart beating in his throat, this was do or die.

Steve turned beet red, and looked down at the linoleum floor, at a loss for words.

Natalie stepped closer to him, and encircled his neck and shoulders with her arms,

“Think of it, you would finally be able to have me. I know you want me. I’ve seen how you look at me. I know you think I’m with Clint, but we’re just friends. This is something I want. After, if you still want to be with me, we can do it your way, the old fashioned style dinner date, candlelight, and a chaste goodnight kiss. But for now, what do you say to a good old fashioned college style ménage a trios?”

Steve was finding it increasingly difficult to think logically with Natalie standing so close and with her ample chest pressed against his muscular one, he found himself doing the only thing he could, he nodded.

She smiled, a bit like the cat that had gotten the canary, _and_ the cream, then rose onto her tiptoes, and kissed him. He closed his eyes, and suddenly all he could smell and taste was her. She smelled spicy like the salsa chips she had eaten, but darker, like cinnamon, and she tasted sweet like the peach cooler. When she pulled him closer and wove her hands into his hair, he lost all reason completely.

He barely noticed the fact she was slowly walking him back to his bedroom, nor the fact Clint’s heavy footsteps followed them both.

The door clicked shut and the last rational thought he had was, he wondered how long they had been planning this, and if they had known he would say yes.

Natalie was very persuasive, so it was likely true on both counts.

 


	10. Thor's earns a Paycheck

Thor awoke to find himself still at his desk, with a stiff neck, and finished designs. There were no blank pages staring mockingly at him, and he could smell bacon and fresh coffee. He sat up slowly, reaching up to rub his sore neck and turned to find Loki tinkering in the kitchen, and when he realized his older brother had joined him in consciousness, he smiled.

“Good morning Thor. Hungry?”

Thor grinned broadly, and stood up, wincing slightly at the creaks and snaps of his joints, and he nodded,

“Absolutely starving. Did you feed Heimdall yet?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“Of course, and you should know, Maria was here last night, and she gave him a bath. She was quite insistent.”

Thor frowned, he didn’t remember seeing her.

“You were quite engrossed in your work.” Loki gently nudged him, and held out a cup of steaming coffee.

“Thank you.” He couldn’t believe how much he had gotten done. Tony would be glad to see the finished plans, and hopefully be able to start production within the next year.

“So what are your plans today?” Loki asked quite innocently, and Thor shrugged,

“After I drop those off, I guess maybe I’ll come back here, unless you need me to go to the store for something?”

Thor gazed at his brother, unable to read his expression.

“Well, now that you mention it, I do need you to pick up a couple things from the library. I’m trying to learn more about the art of the brew. Please?” Loki held out a plateful of bacon and eggs, and Thor was much too distracted by his suddenly growling stomach to find anything to protest, and he nodded, before shoving  in a mouthful of delicious cooked breakfast.

Loki grinned and turned away from his brother, partly to pour himself another cup of coffee, and partly to hide the victorious expression on his face. Today, his brother would finally meet the young librarian who had such a quick wit and disarming eyes.

“Just make me a list of the books you need and I shall fetch them as soon as I shower and see Tony.” Thor called out as he walked towards the bathroom, carefully putting his dishes by the large sink to Loki’s left.

“Of course brother.”

***

Tony squinted at the papers, and then grinned broadly.

“These are fantastic. You’re truly one of a kind Thor. Thanks for helping us out. I’ll be sure to have my dad write your check ASAP.”

The tall blond man smiled at Tony, and nodded to Bruce who was lying on the couch, lazily browsing Thor’s designs, and he slowly started to grin.

“These are great. Good work man.”

“Thank you. Now, I must be off, Loki has some books for me to pick up from the library for him. Perhaps I’ll see you two sometime this week? Shall we plan to have a gathering at Central Perk on Friday afternoon? Oh . . . hmm I think my brother works that day, so perhaps not. Text me if you need any more assistance. Good day!” Thor clapped a large hand on Tony’s shoulder, and the scientist tried not to wince, as the man headed out the door.

After Thor had gone, Tony turned to Bruce,

“How did we ever get anywhere without him? He’s almost as smart as you. Maybe smarter considering he doesn’t do drugs.”

Bruce laughed,

“I don’t think I could stand myself if I was much smarter. I would be too boring. I think Einstein would have been more popular if he’d done some weed now and then.”

Tony shrugged,

“Who knows? He might not have been able to make the calculations he did, then where would we be?”

“A hundred years behind?” Bruce chuckled, and Tony rolled his eyes,

“Bah. My dad would have figured it out eventually, and we’d still have the tech we do now.”

“Here’s to your dad.” Bruce raised his joint in a mock toast, and Tony shook his head, smiling.

“You’re crazy.”

“Eh, it makes life interesting.”

***

The library was large and imposing, and yet still held a sort of elegance and beauty. Thor climbed the large steps and entered the building slowly, barely sparing a glance at Loki’s booklist, eager to simply explore.

The small tables and chairs scattered about the various bookshelves were packed with people flipping through papers, students taking frantic notes, and stern looking teacher types studying large texts.

Thor found himself in front of a desk on which a plaque sat, proclaiming in golden letters, “REFERENCE DESK.”

He looked up from the sign to see a lovely brunette with large black rimmed glasses, and a nametag that read “Darcy.”

He cleared his throat, and she glanced up from her work to meet his gaze, she gave him a quick once over, and the corner of her mouth formed into a smile reminiscent of Loki’s, when he was up to something.

“Can I help you mister?”

Her voice was a bit deeper than he had been expecting, but it only made her more attractive,

“Uh yes, I was wondering what section I might find these books in?” he held out Loki’s list, and the girl took a moment to study it.

She sniffed and pushed up her glasses, which had begun to slide down as she gazed at the slip of paper.

She let out a small chuckle, and looked back up at him,

“I’m sorry. I don’t think we have any of these. They don’t exist. If you want something on the history of the coffee bean, or origins of brewing, that’d be in non-fiction, alphabetically.”

Thor frowned, and was rather confused. Why would Loki have made a fake list to get him to the library?

After a few moments of thinking, eventually he growled in realization. It was simply another prank of his. He had fallen for it, hook line and sinker.

The girl started as he made the angry noise and under the desk, her hand inched toward the small canister of pepper spray that was in a hidden shelf, sitting next to her taser, concealed in a dark blue case.

“Is everything alright sir?”

Thor’s steel blue eyes softened as he looked back at the suddenly skittish librarian,

“Yes. I’m sorry. It’s my brother. He made this. He sent me on a wild goose chase for his own selfish amusement.”

Darcy’s dark eyebrows rose in surprise,

“Wow. All this just to be able to say ‘Gotcha!’ when you get home? Sounds like an interesting guy.”

Thor huffed in annoyance,

“Not really. He does this all the time. This time, I was just so certain he was being sincere.”

Darcy shrugged,

“I guess that’s what brothers are for. Unfortunately, I’ve only got sisters. Ridiculously girly things they are. All that pink.” She shuddered and Thor couldn’t help smiling. She seemed like a nice girl, even if she also didn’t disapprove of Loki’s trick.

“Well, thank you for your assistance, I shall try to find something of use for my brother, and bid you good day.”

Thor nodded to her, and she gave him a mock salute,

“See ya.”

Darcy watched him leave, with an appreciative stare. Her best friend, Jane was working the checkout desk, and she wanted to call her and give her a heads up on the hunk that would certainly be headed her way after finding his books, but she decided not to bother. If Jane didn’t go for him, she would give him another go.


	11. Caught in Sin

Natalie slipped out of dreamland very slowly. Her dreams had been pretty darn close to what had actually transpired the night before, so it wasn’t such a hard goodbye.

She turned over slowly to find Clint still asleep, one muscled arm beneath his head, and the other laying palm up, as if trying to reach for her.

She glanced down; the arm around her waist could only belong to Steve then. The peace officer in question was quite entangled with her. His right arm gently held her close, and his right leg was thrown possessively over both of her own. It was heavy, but kind of comforting. But now she was starting to overheat, even without much cover. It seemed during the night they had all kicked off the sheets and blanket in sleep, and they were cuddled enough to keep each other warm.

She carefully grasped Steve’s wrist, and gently pulled his arm off and began to spider crawl over Clint, who unfortunately ceased to be asleep, just in time to snake out a hand to pinch her stomach.

“Ouch! Jeez Clint.”

The exclamation in turn woke poor Steve, who looked rather hurt to find his arms empty.

“Where do you think you’re going? You can’t ditch us. We haven’t had breakfast.” Clint moaned and wrapped his arms around her waist, trying to pull her back into bed.

Natalie stood firm, and wrenched herself free from his clamshell hold,

“Excuse me? I’m not making either of you breakfast. And you’re both too hot and heavy. I’m sweaty. I need a shower.”

Clint smirked at her choice of words, and licked his lips before responding,

“I have an idea that could make you sweat some more . . .”

Natalie rolled her eyes at him, but stepped ever closer to the bedroom door.

Steve, meanwhile, was sneakily trying to pull the covers over himself while the two old friends argued, but the movement caught Natalie’s eye.

“Just what do you think you’re doing mister? I’ve seen every inch of that delicious body of yours, trying to hide it now is pretty futile. The way our bodies entwined is burned into my brain. Mmhmm.” Natalie grinned lasciviously and winked playfully at him.

She enjoyed teasing him, and even now after he’d committed original sin with her; he still blushed brighter than her hair at the memory.

“Yes well. You’re absolutely right. We need sustenance, and I can make it. You go take a shower if you like, and Clint, put some pants and a shirt on.”

Steve frowned at his roommate, who shrugged, perfectly comfortable with his own nudity even if it bothered everyone else. At least, they pretended it did.

Natalie for one wasn’t complaining, as she hadn’t been surrounded by so much bare manly golden skin and muscle this early in the morning in ages, but her stomach was growling and protesting its emptiness.

“Okay let’s go. Clint, shower with me, we’ll save water. Steve, I’d prefer an omelet incorporated with any leftover nachos if possible. Strong coffee too.” She grabbed Clint’s arm that was still trying to reach for her leg, yanked him swiftly out of the bed with a kung fu move, and though he groaned in protest, the prospect of showering with her kept him from voicing any complaints.

Steve was left alone in the suddenly enormous empty bed, feeling a bit left out.

***

Loki was merely mixing up a frozen beverage for a customer when Nick tapped him on the shoulder, jerking his thumb towards the back, and the house phone,

“I’ll finish that. Your brother’s on the phone, and he sounds a bit ticked.”

Loki shrugged,

“He’s always like that.”

He walked to the back and picked up the receiver, holding it a good few inches away from his ear,

“Hello?”

“LOKI! YOU MADE A LIST OF COMPLETE SHIT! YOU’RE LUCKY I MANAGED TO GET SOME HELP OR I WOULD BE OVER THERE IN SECONDS TO SMACK YOU. Also I met this really pretty librarian so I may be home late. We’re going to get some dinner at this Irish pub. Get back to work.”

_*CLICK*_

Loki set the phone back on the cradle, rolling his eyes, and smiling slightly, he had known Thor would figure it out sooner or later, he was just surprised it had been the list that led to him meeting the mousy Jane, and not any books. He also was surprised his brother had managed to scold him and express some rather reluctant thanks in one breath.

He shrugged, he had done his part. Thor would get over it.


	12. Dinner with A Viking God

_A few minutes previous to the phone call. . ._

Jane was sitting at the front checkout desk, merely sifting through books to be re-shelved, when she heard heavy footfalls. She looked up, and kept looking up to see a very tall, blond haired, very strong looking man. His face was rather serious, but the blue eyes that met her brown ones, suddenly softened.

“Hello, _Jane_ , I need to check these out please.” He had read her nametag, and amazingly not lingered his gaze on her chest, as many men tended to do. Not that she had much to boast about, her friend Darcy beat her out in that department by a long shot.

Back to the blond giant,

“Ah, sure. Of course. Do you have your library card?”

Thor gulped,

“No. I don’t have one I’m afraid. Will there be a fee to acquire one?”

Jane smiled warmly at him, he looked rather nervous,

“No of course not, you’ll just need to fill this out, and I can program one for you in a matter of minutes. Do you plan to come back here often?”

Thor took the clipboard and pen from her, never dropping his gaze from her stunning brown eyes,

“Yes. Of that I am certain. Thank you.” He set the books down on her desk, off to the side so they would not hinder other people checking out, and he moved to go sit on a nearby bench, and began writing down his information.

Jane snuck a couple glances over at him as he worked. He frowned slightly in concentration, and pursed his lips as he thought.

Within a few minutes he had finished it, and he brought it over, thrusting it triumphantly in front of her, and she met his gaze,

“Thank _you_ , mister, Thor is it? Just one moment please.” She had scanned the page for his name quickly so as not to seem too creepy.

She turned and began tapping keys on the computer, pulling out a new card sheet from a drawer, and Thor watched as she worked her magic.

She whirled around and handed the card to him, flipping it over to show him where to sign his name.

He did so with a flourish, and she pulled it back, blew on it gently to help it dry, snapped the card free, scanning it before then handing the smaller card and the original signed one back,

“The little one goes on your keychain, in case you ever forget one, you’ll have a backup.” She smiled at him and began to collect his books and scan them in turn.

Thor stared at the small card, his ticket to seeing this strange and beautiful woman as much as he wished. If only Loki would give him more excuses to visit. Or perhaps . . .

“Jane?”

His voice was strong and steady, holding none of the nervousness he felt, and she glanced away from the computer back up to him, her pretty face curious,

“Yes?”

“Would you be interested in perhaps joining me for dinner? Whenever you’ve got a free evening.”

Jane felt her cheeks heat up, and she looked down at her desk quickly, unable to continue meeting his eyes,

“Um. Yes. I would. Um. I’m free tonight if that works for you?” she looked back up briefly to see him smiling. It made him infinitely more handsome, and she completely forgot about feeling stupid over sounding as if she had no social life. Which she basically didn’t. Her plans for the night had consisted of possibly baking cookies, probably eating most of the dough, and watching a rom-com, all with Darcy.

“Wonderful. Where shall I pick you up? And what time? Or do you prefer to meet somewhere?”

Jane felt no strange creepy vibes from the tall blond, but she decided to be safe, and suggested they meet at a bar downtown, known for great live music, even greater beer, and burgers to die for.

Thor nodded, and after picking up his books and pocketing his new library card, stunned her by gently lifting her hand to his mouth and kissing it, light as a feather brushing her skin,

“Until this evening.”

Jane was too stunned to form a coherent reply so she merely giggled and beamed like a giddy schoolgirl. She watched him leave and didn’t feel a hint of guilt for taking a quick peek at his jean-clad behind.

“Wow.” She whispered to herself, and a few seconds later her phone rang, she picked it up automatically and spewed the normal greeting, before realizing it was just Darcy, phoning over from the reference desk.

“SO! DISH. What did you think of the blond Viking god?”

“Darcy! Shhhhh. What if he heard you?” Jane glanced around cautiously, but the other patrons were too absorbed in their studying to notice her.

“Oh bah. He’s already long gone. And on cloud nine it seems. What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything but my job. But then he asked me out to dinner!” Jane couldn’t hide the slight squeal of joy from her voice, and Darcy whooped, semi-quietly.

“Good job! Congrats. I guess I’ll have to eat all the cookies tonight by myself.” She gave a loud mock sigh, and Jane rolled her eyes,

“Don’t give me that. I know you don’t really mind. Now you can watch some of your dirty movies if you want.”

“Such a little saint Jane. They’re Arthouse films. Not porn.”

Jane huffed,

“Look, I don’t care what you call them. They’re just too racy for my taste. Now I’ve gotta get back to work so I can be out of here by six. I need some time to get ready for my date.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright. Signing off. Good luck.”

“Thanks Darc. Bye.”

“Byeee.”


	13. The Serious Chapter (or two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot bunnies are crazy things. tried to avoid this canonish nonsense, but it got me anyway

Phil was exhausted from a long day of shooting, but he wanted to stop by and see how Pepper was doing. As he raised his hand to knock, he heard her inside, humming and moving around like she was dancing.

He knocked loudly, and heard the footsteps begin to approach the door.

Pepper pulled the door open, cheeks slightly flushed from her exercise, and she beamed as she saw who her visitor was.

“Phil! C’mon in! Please excuse me, I must look a fright. I’ve been dusting and trying to do a bit of spring cleaning.”

Phil smiled, and shook his head,

“It’s no problem. And you look lovely. Happy. How are things going with Stark?”

Pepper looked several years younger, in his opinion, as she began talking about the playboy, who it seemed had indeed changed his ways for her.

Phil sat down heavily in a chair, and listened patiently as she brought him up to speed on the last date.

“I think he may ask me to be exclusive soon. But I can’t assume anything.”

She bit her lip thoughtfully, and stood, with one leg bent, as if posing for a camera.

“Pepper, listen.” Phil began, and she stood back up straight, and met his gaze, her hazel eyes wide with concern,

“What’s wrong Phil? Now that I take a good look at you, it’s as if you’ve run a marathon. Are you feeling alright?”

Phil blinked, and all of a sudden his vision was filling rapidly with white spots, as he tried to answer with a flippant,

“Nonsense. I’m fine.” His vision began to tilt, and he felt himself falling slowly, as if underwater.

Pepper stepped closer and tried to catch him as he fell out of the chair, luckily only onto her soft grey carpeting.

“Phil!” she shrieked in horror, and she quickly pulled out her cell, dialing Tony and she carefully felt Phil’s forehead, it was clammy and warm.

“This is Tony Stark.”

“Tony! It’s me, something’s wrong with Phil, he just came over, and we barely talked for a few minutes and he started getting pale, and now he’s fainted! What should I do?”

Tony was at a loss for words, and then he leapt into action,

“You stay with him, I’ll call 911, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Pepper nodded, even though she knew he couldn’t see her,

“Okay, I will. Hurry!”

She ended the call and gently stroked Phil’s cheek, her own face stricken with worry for her friend.

***

Loki was preparing to take off, and had just hung up his apron when the house phone rang, he hoped to hell it wasn’t Thor again.

He picked it up, and was surprised to hear his landlady’s voice, asking for Nick,

“Sure, hang on just a moment,” he set the receiver down and went back out to the front, waving to Nick, who stood chatting with some customers.

“Excuse me please.” Nick smiled at the couple, and strode over to Loki,

“What’s up?”

“There’s a phone call for you, I think it’s Pepper Potts.”

Nick frowned,

“I wonder why she would be calling me.”

He stepped past Loki and picked up the phone, greeting Pepper, and as Loki watched, he grew very pale, and started asking questions.

It seemed as if something serious had happened.

He hung up and grabbed his keys, turning to Loki with concern in his dark eyes,

“I’m gonna need you to watch the café for a little longer, my best friend has been taken to the emergency room.”

Loki’s eyes widened, and he nodded wordlessly,

“Of course. Take as long as you need. I’ll give Maria a call.”

Nick nodded,

“Good idea. You need a break after all. Be careful.”

And with a swish of his black coat, he was gone. Loki raised his eyebrows at this, and wondered just what had happened, and who Nick’s best friend was that he knew Pepper as well.

He shrugged, for now he needed to worry about running the café smoothly while Nick was absent, and he whipped out his cell dialing Maria.

“Hey. It’s Loki. I need to ask you a favor.”

***

Tony held Pepper’s hand as they sat in the waiting room, not even concerned about just how hard she was squeezing, and the fact he might not be able to write with it for a few days.

Nick Fury came rushing in the room, and looked frantically to Pepper for some sign of news,

“What’s happened? What have they told you?”

Pepper shook her head,

“All they could say was it was a reaction to something he ate on set. Other than that I don’t know. They said they might need to pump his stomach.”

Nick winced, and collapsed into a chair beside them, his head falling into his hands,

“I hope to god he’s okay.”

Tony gripped Pepper’s hand,

“Don’t worry. Whatever it is, these doctors are the best. They’ll fix him up.”

Pepper couldn’t fight back tears any more, and they began to roll down her cheek silently. Phil was her oldest friend, and dearest. To think, she had been focused on rambling about her and Tony, while he was sick, and unable to tell her. She felt ashamed.

Tony looked over and saw them, and reached up a hand to gently brush them away,

“It’s alright. I know you care about him. How could I compete with that? A famous TV star? Strong action hero type, he’s the one you girls always fall for.” Tony smiled sadly, but deep down was suddenly worried. Perhaps Pepper felt more for Phil than just friendship, and he had been taking her away from him. Perhaps this food poisoning had been from a lack of focus.

“Do you know if he’s allergic to anything?” Tony asked all of a sudden, and Pepper looked up, surprised,

“No. He’s never mentioned anything. In fact, he loves all the normal things that could be allergies, strawberries, bread, and peanut butter, you name it and he eats it. I can’t imagine what this could be.”

Tony slumped back in the uncomfortable chair, at a loss.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the doctors say.”


	14. Maybe This Wasn't A Good Plan

Once Natalie and Clint had emerged from the shower, laughing and chattering away, they had discovered a perfectly cooked breakfast, coffee still steaming, but an empty kitchen.

Natalie glanced at her friend, who shrugged,

“I don’t like this. Do you think we should have asked him with us?”

Clint rolled his eyes,

“We couldn’t have all fit in that stall first of all; second of all, he’s a grown man. He better not be the Debby-downer of the threesome. I swear. I thought that was your area, you women who get too attached.”

Natalie glared at him,

“Very funny. How about a third of all? He’s upset, and wanted to talk, but you were just being all snarky as a lark, and buck ass nude to boot, and so he decided he would yield to you.”

Clint raised his dark brown eyebrows at her, unable to refute her logic.

“Okay. So I was a bit of an ass. But he lives with me. I figured he knew when I was just kidding around. Dammit.” He muttered the curse, and pulled out his phone, quickly composing a text to Steve.

While Natalie chowed down on the late breakfast, Clint paced around the apartment.

“He’s not answering!”

Natalie shrugged,

“I guess you fucked up. Better got find him and apologize.”

Clint stopped dead in his tracks,

“Excuse me? _I_ fucked up? This whole thing was your idea! Why didn’t the thought ever cross your mind doing something like this with a guy who’s practically in love with you, worships the ground you walk on, wouldn’t hurt him just a tad? Maybe he’s not willing to share?”

Natalie raised a single eyebrow in surprise,

“Just who are we talking about now? Cause that sure as hell sounded more like you than him.”

Clint kicked the couch in frustration, then winced as the pain radiated up his leg.

He cursed like a sailor and Natalie bit her lip to keep from laughing.

“You need to apologize to him as well as I do.”

Natalie gulped down the now lukewarm coffee, before nodding.

“I guess you’re right. You think he’d answer if I called him?”

Clint shrugged,

“Maybe we should just go together, I bet he’s probably at Central Perk.”

Natalie nodded again,

“Lemme text Maria. Hold your horses. And go put a shirt on. Jeez.”

Clint glanced down, grimacing at his bare chest. He had completely forgotten.

Maria answered in the affirmative that Steve was indeed at Central Perk, looking as she phrased it, ‘Like a wounded Puppy dog,’ and Natalie yelled at Clint, who rushed out of the bedroom, finally fully clothed.

“Let’s move out.”

Clint grabbed his coffee mug, downed it in one gulp, and followed hot on her heels.

***

Maria swept into Central Perk barely twenty minutes after receiving Loki’s text, having been in the area simply window shopping.

She stopped short as she noticed Steve in the corner of the café, clutching a hot drink of some kind like it was a life raft, and he was lost at sea.

She walked behind the counter, donned her apron, and turned to ask Loki what was going on.

Loki simply shrugged and told her he had just arrived, ordered a simple espresso and retreated to that small corner table.

Maria frowned, and then was distracted by a buzz from her phone. She glanced down to find a text from Natalie, asking if Steve happened to be around. Maria raised her eyebrows at the phone, and showed it to Loki, who grinned,

“What has she done to him now?”

Maria shook her head, and quickly typed a response,

“ **Yup. He’s here. Need me to stall him?”**

**_‘Not yet. Thanks though.’-N_ **

Maria sighed and put her phone away, moving over to start taking orders from the few customers, while Loki decided to go inquire about Steve.

***

Steve nursed the coffee, and was about to take another sip, when he heard someone clear their throat, he turned to see Loki, who for once, looked rather serious.

“Is everything okay man? You look a bit, troubled.”

Steve shrugged, and Loki ignored that, and took the seat opposite him.

“Spill.”

Steve raised his hands in frustration,

“I have no idea what she wants. She suggests this thing, this way for us to be together, and says then we can do it, the dating properly but then she wants to shower with him? I’m just so confused.”

Loki shook his head slightly as he tried to keep up.

“Okay, let me get this straight, Natalie slept with you, and Clint, but then showered just with him?”

Steve nodded sadly, and then took a large gulp of coffee, stalling.

Loki tapped Steve’s free hand,

“Look, the way I see it, she wants you to make a move. Try and prove yourself. She wants to be wanted. Clearly, you’re not putting up much of a fight. Clint’s just her friend and he gets her more than you could even dream of. Okay, maybe not, but he could if he wanted to. You’ve got to man up. Go caveman on her. Push Clint aside and drag her off to your lair. Or out to dinner. Whichever you prefer. Be a man. Oh. Now’s your chance. Here they come.” Loki stood quickly, and walked back over to stand behind the counter, out of the line of fire.

***

Natalie and Clint filed into Central Perk, and she spotted Steve first, noting how Loki had been at least trying to converse with him, telling him god knew what.

Steve saw them, and stood up, reaching his full height, towering over her and slightly outstripping Clint of any tactical advantage.

“Guys.” He nodded stiffly to them, and Natalie fought to keep her expression calm. The anger and hurt in his voice were threatening to break through the wall around her well guarded feelings.

“Steve,” she tried to begin, but Clint, stupidly, stepped in front of her, shoving her behind him, and began to try and apologize.

Steve had been five seconds from decking his roommate, but when he heard,

“I’m sorry man. I’m sorry for being such an asshole. For being selfish. This woman, she really likes you.” He stopped in mid swing.

Clint flinched and stepped back again, and gently nudged Natalie forward, and Steve lost all the fight in him. He would never hurt her.

“Natalie, I-”

“Shh. It’s my fault. I’m sorry for this whole rotten mess. Forgive me?” she stepped right up until she was directly in front of him, her mass of red curls barely brushing his chin, and she put her arms around him, as much as she could, and leaned into him.

Steve wilted, and pulled her flush to him, his strong arms easily encircling her, and as she pulled back to meet his eyes, he could have sworn he saw tears in her emerald orbs.

“Of course. Always.”

She managed a smile, and he knelt down, to meet her soft lips in a kiss. Much gentler, more romantic, and very old fashioned compared to all the kisses from the night before.

Clint edged away from the embracing couple, and made his way towards where Maria stood behind the counter, watching with a contented sigh,

“Any chance I could get a drink?”

Maria tore her gaze away from her best friend, and grinned at him,

“I suppose. For doing that. It must have taken some balls to stand up to your best friend.”

Clint nodded,

“For a moment there I thought he was going to break my neck.”

Maria chuckled,

“I did too. I almost cheered, but then, Natalie saved your butt.”

Clint grimaced,

“She does that quite a lot now that I think about it.”

Maria smiled,

“She’s a great friend like that. Loyal as they come.”

She held up a hand, fending off the bad joke she knew Clint would make, shoving his drink in his hand with her other one.

“Ciao.”

He nodded to her and quickly exited the café.


	15. The Big Date

Jane nervously smoothed down the front of her dress. Darcy had talked her into wearing her only Little Black Dress, one she hadn’t even spared a glance at since her last serious relationship, which had only lasted about a month.

When she stepped inside the bar, she felt as if she was being enveloped in a great big hug, the music was loud, the people were equally noisy, and the smell of seasoned beef and icy cold beer teased her senses.

She spotted Thor at the bar, his long blond hair tied back in a ponytail, and he was wearing a silvery grey shirt with black jeans. He looked very handsome, and cleaned up nice indeed.

She walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned to see her, and his eyes widened momentarily. She hoped that was a good thing.

Along with the black dress, she had put on her favorite black leather ballet flats and a single silver bangle on her left wrist. Her hair she had left in loose waves, not wanting to keep it up in the bun she usually wore at work. She’d only put on the bare minimum of makeup, a touch of mascara, and a yummy smelling peach colored lipstick.

Thor was speechless. The petite beauty from the library looked like an angel who had fallen from heaven to have dinner in a bar with him.

“Shall we?” she gestured to a booth, and he nodded numbly, following her.

When they were arranged comfortably, drinks ordered, and she was simply perusing the menu, Thor finally found his voice,

“You are so beautiful. I feel like it’s been ages since I last saw you.”

Jane smiled and found herself blushing at the compliment,

“You’re very sweet. You look great too. I love your hair like that; it makes you look a bit like a surfer. What did you want to have with the burger? Fries or onion rings?”

Thor gulped, and glanced down at the menu, picking the first thing he saw.

“I shall have the Animal style burger, and fries sound fine. Unless you would prefer onion rings?” he met her gaze, slightly panicked, but she merely shrugged,

“They’re both good. I’ll have the old fashioned BLT.” She raised a hand and their waiter appeared from the crowd, quickly writing down everything she said, and after taking their menus, vanished back into the melee.

Suddenly Thor was completely on his own.

Jane leaned forward and asked him what he did for work.

He licked his lips,

“I am an astronuclear physicist, and I collaborate regularly with Stark Industries on their projects.”

Jane sat back in her booth, stunned.

“Wow. Sounds like quite an ambitious goal. Did you always want to do that?”

Thor smiled, eager to discuss something he had full confidence in.

“Not always. Since boyhood, I wanted to be able to discover new stars, or planets, but this provides me with a way to assist that. The impossible is now the everyday. Whatever may seem impossible now will be a simple matter in the near future.”

Jane nodded, hanging on his every word.


	16. Out of [the] Weed(s)

Meanwhile, during all this, Bruce was still stuck in his apartment, completely at a loss as to why Tony had rushed off to Pepper’s with only a muttered explanation of,

“Her friend’s in trouble.”

Frankly, he was quite pissed at them all. He hadn’t heard a single word from Tony, or Maria, or even Loki in several hours.

Just before he decided to light up a joint and smoke himself silly, he heard commotion in the hallway.

Finally Clint and Steve had returned.

He strode over to the front door, wrenching it open just in time to see Steve and Natalie, wrapped completely around one another, it was a miracle they could move at all, they stumbled inside, and the door slammed shut.

He sighed and leaned against the doorframe. They would be no help. There was no sign of Clint. He sighed again, and stepped back, slipping on his sneakers, and grabbing his keys. He would go see Maria in person, and see if she had heard anything from Tony. This wasn’t like him at all, usually he texted regular updates if they were ever separated for work or pleasure.

In this case, it seemed that some emergency had made Tony forget all pre-established protocol.

***

When the doctor finally emerged and began walking toward Tony, Pepper, and Nick, the room seemed to drop a few degrees, and Pepper swore she could feel her heart speed up.

The white coat clad man stopped in front of Pepper,

“You’re the one who brought him in?” she nodded, even as Tony raised a hand,

“I’m the one who made the call.”

Nick glared at him, and Tony shrugged, dropping his hand, and nodding toward Pepper.

She gulped,

“Is he going to be okay?”

The doctor nodded,

“He’s stable. The blurred vision, and sudden fatigue, or fainting as it manifested was a common symptom of Type two. Phil Coulson has Diabetes. We got to him in plenty of time, but he was in rough shape. The stress from his busy schedule led to him skipping meals, and skimping on important nutrients. He’ll be okay, but this isn’t something you can get over. He’ll need to be careful about his eating for the rest of his life.”

Pepper nearly fainted herself in relief. She had been afraid it was a heart attack or something worse. Diabetes? That was nothing. Phil was tough. He could do anything. This would be a challenge certainly, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

A thought struck her,

“Can we see him?”

The doctor nodded,

“Yes. In an hour perhaps. He still needs some rest. Please feel free to visit the cafeteria. Mister Stark. Good to see you.” The doctor shook Tony’s hand, and nodded to Nick, before leaving the room in a hurry.

  
“Well, all’s well that ends well I say. He’ll just have to stay away from the pastry table at work, and the counter at Central Perk.” Tony grinned, and for the first time all day, Pepper relaxed as well, and returned his smile.

She turned to Nick, who looked as if he had faced death himself,

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

Nick nodded, and returned Pepper’s comforting squeeze of a hand.

Tony stood up, and rubbed his hands together,

“Now, let’s go get some grub eh? I’m starved. Worrying makes me hungry.”

Pepper rolled her eyes, but followed his lead, while Nick hung back, insisting he needed to make a few phone calls, but urging the two of them to go without him.

Tony shrugged, and started off for the cafeteria, with Pepper in tow.

 


	17. A Bit of Prying

Natalie returned home late that night from Steve and Clint’s apartment, thoroughly worn out. Also rather sore in some places she didn’t know she’d used. The old saying was true, ‘It was the quiet ones you have to watch out for.’ Steve was positively wild. But she didn’t mind. It was hard to out-kink her, but she wasn’t disappointed it had been him.

Poor Clint had stayed hidden in Central Perk until Steve texted him it was safe. He’d let her nap a while, before kicking her out, knowing both guys had early mornings at work, even if she didn’t. She wasn’t offended; she would have been doing the kicking if they’d been at her place.

As she slipped past Maria’s room, she heard quiet snoring. She smiled to herself, and then it turned wicked. If Maria had left their computer logged onto her account, perhaps she could take a peep at the secret project Maria had been working on in her free time.

Natalie always expressed earnest interest in reading her writing, but somehow for some reason Maria was quite shy about it.

She set her purse down, and kicked off her sneakers, while heading for the glowing monitor.

She was in luck! Natalie plopped into the comfy desk chair and moved the cursor over to the file marked “Top Secret Story.” Not the most brilliant of file names, but it was funny.

A double click and her roommate’s work was finally revealed.

“’ **Business Causal Chemistry: By Maria Hill** ”

Natalie rolled her eyes,

“Oh boy. Here we go.” She muttered to herself.

“ _\--Ewan Stevenson walked from his black escalade to the concrete curb quickly, not wishing to be run over by an over-caffeinated soccer mom on the Friday afternoon. He fumbled with his Bluetooth cords and his ear piece, wanting to be able to breathe and speak aloud without being involved on a conference call for at least 5 minutes._

_He glanced up and around, making sure the coast was clear as he continued to have difficulties undoing the electronics, and he happened to catch a figure inside the building watching him, an amused expression on their face. He grimaced inwardly, he must have looked ridiculous._

_As he pulled open the door to the famous coffee shop, he inhaled the extremely cold air, thanks to a wonderful AC unit, relief finally coming to his business suit suffocated body. He hoped he wouldn’t have to get too close to anyone, as he was sure his deodorant from the morning had long worn off. The extreme heat of the Texas summer months was starting to wear on him._

_As he strolled over to the line to place his order, he glanced back at the figure that he had seen from outside, who had caught him trying to free himself from his electronics. It was a girl, perhaps a young woman. But what made him look again was the fact she was dressed up as much as he. Perhaps she had just gotten off of her work, and had forgone changing in order to get her caffeine fix. Who knew?_

_All he knew was she was suddenly looking at him as well, before glancing back down to her reading material, on her cellphone. Her hair seemed to glow a bit in the sunlight, a very unnatural golden blond, but somehow very lovely at the same time. He looked up at the menu, trying to decide which chilled beverage appealed most at the moment. He chanced it, and looked over at her again, this time hoping to catch a glimpse of her figure without her notice. She was looking at him also. Then she looked away, smiling, and possibly biting her lip._

_He wondered why she smiled just then. He looked back at the cashier who eagerly awaited his order. He quickly chose a large frozen coffee, as it would possibly help cool him down._

_He stepped back from the line, over to the barstools and high table, chancing one last look at the girl, who now had a gentleman friend joining her, which he couldn’t help noting with some slight disappointment._

_He retrieved his frozen coffee drink and made his way over to a comfy seat, checking his watch, it had been almost ten minutes of silence, surely he was due for another business call. As he sat down, carefully arranging his electronics and his own cell phone, he looked over at her again, stunned to see her looking at him, as opposed to her companion._

_She almost looked pained, as if asking for a rescue from a boring conversation, but then almost as if a switch had been thrown she looked back up into her friend’s face, a brilliant smile appearing._

_“Can’t fool me.” He muttered, she clearly was maintaining the good friend, or good listener image, but only he had seen how her face fell when she saw him see the fact she was no longer alone. His phone rang suddenly, startling him. He set his drink back down, of which had only managed about 2 sips from, and professionally answered the call._

_He groaned internally, it was another conference call. He reluctantly inserted his Bluetooth again and began to pay attention to his business partners.—_ “

“What on earth?” Natalie mumbled to herself, continuing to read for another few minutes, before finally reaching the steamy love scene.

It was lucky her vision couldn’t get stuck, as she rolled her eyes quite a bit more until she finished the story.

Cliché descriptions and strange age gap between the protagonists. Not to mention the lack of an intelligent plot, and no antagonists to even challenge the happy ending.

No wonder Maria hid her work. It was abysmal!

“This is too rich. I’ve got to send this to Bruce.”

She quickly opened Maria’s email and sent it using the address on her cell. She deleted the sent history and logged off. She was still quite tired, despite the nap she had caught with Steve, so she headed right for bed, not even bothering to change.


	18. Oversharing

Bruce’s cell beeped with the email the next morning after he turned it on. His eyes widened as he scrolled through the long email from Maria.

It was marked, “My first completed story, hope you enjoy!”

It was quite scandalous. He wasn’t exactly sure what had caused her to send it, but he had to admit it was well written. Certainly worth following up on.

He texted her in response,

“ **Thanks for sharing. Maybe we could discuss it over a cup of coffee on your day off? Just let me know.”-B**

When Tony stumbled out of bed nearly an hour later, Bruce was almost done with his work for the day.

He turned to his roommate,

“Good to have you back among the living. Is everything with Pepper okay?”

Tony nodded, before stifling a yawn,

“Yup. Phil, he’s her best friend in the world, was very sick. But it turned out to just be Type two diabetes making its presence known. He’s A-okay now.”

Bruce smiled,

“That’s good. Not for him, but good he’s not dying. Say, did you know Maria’s a writer? She sent me this last night, I bet you’d like it.”

Tony accepted the phone wordlessly and squinted at the screen, still having trouble focusing on small text so soon after waking.

His eyes went wide just as Bruce’s had a while earlier.

“Who’d have thought that sweet innocent brunette wrote porn in her spare time? Damn. I could make millions on a film of this. Only if the girl was of age, of course.” He winked at Bruce, who shrugged,

“The age is kind of up to interpretation. She seems old enough. She’s got her own apartment. Don’t you have to be over 18 for that?”

Tony nodded thoughtfully,

“That’s true. Unless someone with great credit buys it for you. Then you can be as old as they want. Oh, that’s just wrong. Why does it sound hot?”

Bruce raised his eyebrows,

“Better cool your jets now. You’re not a single playboy anymore. Don’t get any crazy ideas.”

Tony nodded,

“True, true. Pepper wouldn’t approve of me starting an adult film company. Come to think of it, neither would dad.”

***

Maria looked in confusion at her cell phone. The morning text from Bruce made absolutely no sense. She was afraid to respond, asking for some clarity, without looking stupid. Perhaps she had been drunk, and called him, and simply forgotten it.

Then again, last night she had gotten home from work and nearly fallen asleep into her TV dinner. Unlikely she could have had time to do anything she regretted before falling asleep. Unless there was such a thing as a ‘sleep-text?’

She looked around, puzzled as to where her roommate was hiding. It was past noon. Surely she couldn’t be sleeping all day. Her day off should be spent having fun. Then again, if the rumors were accurate, Natalie had had a bunch of “Fun” last night.

She heard a ruffling and rustling and glanced up to find the woman of the hour.

“Hey there. Did you sleep well?”

Natalie mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like,

“Fuck you.”

But Maria simply smiled and nodded,

“Sure sure. I guess that was a dumb question. I left you a few cinnamon raisin muffins. It’s a recipe from work. You’re welcome. I did drink all the coffee though, sorry.”

Natalie waved a hand lazily at her, and headed directly for the coffeepot, filling it quickly and patiently loading the coffee grounds.

Maria let her drink her first cup of coffee before recalling the strange text from Bruce.

“Hey, do you have any idea of what this means? I honestly can’t remember telling him anything odd.”

She held her phone up to Natalie’s range of vision, and was stunned to see her eyes widen, and her face become paler than normal.   
“Fuck.” She mumbled again, unmistakable this time.

Maria frowned,

“What’s wrong?”

She straightened up and carefully watched her friend’s expression change.

“Oh. It’s nothing. I sent him a funny joke. He must have thought it was from you. Our email addresses are similar.”

Natalie swore internally. She had said too much. She had also had no idea Bruce would read the entire thing, much less respond!

Maria narrowed her suddenly icy blue eyes at her,

“What’s going on?”

Then, without a word, she rose from the kitchen island and ran for her computer.

Natalie tried to stay calm. She had erased any evidence of the prank.

She hoped.


	19. Rent Collection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so we're clear..the story in question being poked fun at...is completely mine. i know it's horrible, and thats why i'm putting it in here. please no one be offended. I myself enjoy the occasional trashy romance. this is purely fanfic entertainment.

Thor awoke late in the morning with a smile still on his face. In his dream, Jane and he had returned to the library, which had been quiet as the grave, and he had kissed her goodnight, before she asked him in a shy whisper if he had ever made love between bookshelves. The rest was easily imagined. The reality was that he had in fact driven home with her, and kissed her quite chastely on the cheek outside her front door, before parting ways.

It was still a nice thought.

The smell of bacon and eggs had been what woke him. Loki was clearly in a good mood, as he didn’t cook unless he wanted to.

Thor arose from bed and shuffled out to see what had gotten his little brother into such a culinary mindset.

“Brother! Good morning. What brings this about?”

Loki looked up and saw him, a bright smile gracing his handsome face,

“Thor, good. You’re awake, I’m excited, for something completely hilarious has happened, which I had no hand in. it’s amazing. Turns out, our mutual friend Maria Hill is an author of soft porn.”

Thor’s blond eyebrows rose so high they disappeared into the messy blond waves that were still sleep tousled.

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

Loki wiggled his own dark brows in response,

“Natalie sent us all a copy of Maria’s latest story, read it if you don’t believe me. Of course, Soft Porn is a bit of an exaggeration. Literary romance.”

Thor still looked skeptical, but accepted the phone that Loki held out.

He read a few pages, until reaching the juicy bit, and then blinked quickly, and handed the phone back.

“My word brother. That sort of thing is quite painful.”

“Right? It’s like it should come with a “nutrition facts” label. Warning: Excess Sugar contained.’”

Thor chuckled,

“That’s not exactly what I meant. It’s very . . . inappropriate.”

Loki shrugged,

“I suppose. If she was a nun. She’s not however.”

Thor bit back a smile, his brother was correct, he was still surprised at the blatant sexuality in the story. He supposed even women could get as sexually frustrated as men, and they used stories of that sort to blow off steam. Good for her. Perhaps she could get it published. Surely other women would enjoy that sort of story.

***

Pepper made sure Phil got home safe, and Nick offered to stay over and keep an eye on him, she couldn’t argue. She would have done it herself, but after spending so much time visiting him in the hospital, she had gotten a bit behind on her land-lording duties. Namely, collecting rent.

She decided to save Tony’s for last.

First she stopped by the two brothers apartment, just as Loki was leaving. He caught sight of her serious expression and the clipboard in her hand, and promptly called out to Thor,

“Get the checkbook brother! Miss Potts is here! I’m headed to the library.”

He nodded to her and then was gone down the hall in a surprisingly quick fashion. She shook her head and stepped inside the door, and turned to see Thor headed her way, checkbook in hand, and lacking a shirt.

“Um, thanks Thor.”

He glanced down to see her cheeks flushing to match her hair, and he shrugged,

“It’s hot in here. And thank you. Sorry if we were a bit late.”

Pepper shrugged and mumbled and took the check, and hoped she replied,

“No problem. Absolutely. Have a nice day.” or at least that’s what she thought she said. Thor later recalled it sounded more like, “Abs-pecs oh my. Have a nice day.”

Pepper quickly escaped the brothers’ apartment, and headed across the hall to visit Natalie and Maria.

She frowned as she could hear heated conversation though the door, and when she noticed an envelope addressed to her on the welcome mat, she knelt down to retrieve it.

Inside was the neatly printed check for their rent. Pepper winced as she straightened up and heard a crashing noise.

It seemed the girls were having an argument. Either way, they had gotten her the money, so it was none of her business any longer.

She headed for the elevator to go down to the science brothers’ floor.

She purposefully strode past their door to knock on Clint and Steve’s first, holding off on seeing her, what she hoped she could confidently call, boyfriend.

Clint answered the door, and Pepper gulped. He was shirtless too.

“Hi. I’m here for the rent please.” She had nearly squeaked the greeting, and her usually forceful tone had melted into a shy whisper.

Clint chuckled and nodded,

“Just a sec.”

He disappeared to the right, and then quickly returned with a plain white envelope.

“Here ya go. Should be enough. Steve wrote it.”

Pepper took it, fighting the urge to stare at his chest. What was it about half naked men today? They were everywhere! If Tony answered his door like that she might not be able to resist him.

She then recalled the unfortunate noise she had heard.

“Is everything alright with Natalie and Maria? I heard raised voices when I went by their place.”

Clint’s brow furrowed, and he shook his head,

“As far as I know. Nat hasn’t mentioned anything. Maybe she just forgot to buy toilet paper or something girly.”

Pepper nodded understandingly, but couldn’t help thinking how odd it was Clint was so knowledgeable about the monthly problem.

“See ya later.” Clint gave her a parting grin and then shut the door. She could hear something beeping in the background and guessed it was likely the boys’ breakfast.

She finally steeled herself, before turning around to knock on Tony and Bruce’s door.

She heard rustling and a few thuds before the door finally opened to Bruce’s sheepish looking face,

“Pepper! We were just talking about you.”

“Shut up!” Tony’s voice called from the other room, and Bruce’s grin turned painful,

“Sorry. So. What’s up?”

Pepper cleared her throat,

“Did you forget what time it was?”

Bruce frowned in confusion,

“Breakfast time?”

Pepper tisked,

“Nope. Rent time.”

Bruce gulped, and turned to look at Tony, at least, that’s what Pepper assumed.

“Ah, about that. We’ve kinda lost the checkbook. Can we give it to you in cash? Tomorrow?”

Pepper raised her eyebrows at him,

“What.”

It wasn’t a question. The underlying question was why was Tony hiding? Was he trying to avoid her?

Within seconds all her fears were put to rest, as a thankfully shirt clad Tony Stark appeared. He shoved Bruce out of the doorway, and leaned against it, nonchalant as usual.

“Pepper. Honey. You know I can afford it. Just one more day. You’ll have all the cash you need, plus a bit extra to make up for the lateness.” He winked suggestively at her, his eyebrows waggling dramatically.

She tried to glare at him, but he just looked too handsome.

“Okay. One more day. that’s it. I’ll be putting this on your record. Don’t let it happen again.” She tried to sound stern, and she waved a finger at him threateningly, but he suddenly reached out and grabbed it, planting a kiss on the end. He flipped it over and then kissed the back of her hand,

“Thank you. Call you later?”

She nodded, unable to speak coherently when he was still holding her hand so close to his mouth.

“Okay. Good. Talk to you soon.” He let go of her hand, and she stepped back, careful not to trip over anything that might have appeared out of nowhere, and he smiled at her before gently shutting the door.

“Well.” She muttered to herself, and noted the lateness on her clipboard. She would be looking forward to his call for certain.


	20. Mischief...not quite Managed

“YOU DID WHAT?”

Natalie had been busted. Somehow, Maria had a feature of her documents that dated each time the folder was open, and she knew she had not been on there last night. So someone else had. Oops.

“Yes. I did. He needed to know what he was getting into.” She shrugged, and tried to look less guilty than she felt. Maria was beet red, and gripping her empty coffee mug like a grenade primed to blow.

“You had no right! I don’t share my work with ANYONE! At least not until it’s complete!”

Natalie was starting to feel like a bit of an ass. Maria looked very hurt, and she hadn’t realized just how harmful of a prank it was. She loved her friend like the sister she never had, and didn’t want this to be the end of their friendship. Before she could say anything more, a crash startled her from her thoughts.

She looked up to find Maria staring at the floor, and the shattered coffee mug lay in pieces at her feet. Her face was streaked with tears, and her hands were shaking.

“How could you? Why? I know I’m a joke to everyone. I didn’t know you thought I was one too.” Maria felt her strength disappear, and she sank to the floor, slowly gathering broken pieces of china into her hands.

Natalie felt her own eyes sting with tears,

“No. I don’t think you’re a joke. I admire you. For being able to wrangle your thoughts and ideas and put them on paper like no one else can. So what if you aren’t published. I bet Tony knows a bunch of hot shot agents who, as soon as you have a fully finished book, will be itching to read it. I’m sorry. I had no idea this meant so much to you.”

Natalie fell to her knees beside her friend, and pulled her close, her shoulders relaxing in relief as Maria didn’t pull away or try to hit her.

“You really think so?” Maria mumbled it, and Natalie heard it only from being so close.

“I know so. He owes me big time anyway. Now, let’s get you cleaned up to go have that chat with Bruce.” She reached over to wipe away Maria’s tears and her friend sniffled,

“Good idea. I’m a hot mess for certain. I need all the help I can get.”

Natalie shushed her, and shook her head,

“Nonsense. No one looks pretty crying. You only need to wash your face, and you’ll be fine.”

***

Loki strode into the library, glancing about briefly to see if anyone had noticed his grand entrance. They hadn’t. He slowly wilted back down to his normal walk as he realized just how little attention he held.

“Foolish students.” He muttered and made his way quickly over to the reference desk, where a buxom brunette sat.

Her nametag read ‘Darcy,’ and when she looked up to meet his gaze, she blushed.

Darcy felt completely ridiculous as she thought to herself, “I’m acting like Jane would, but damn this guy is fiiine!”

She cleared her throat after letting him stare for a few seconds,

“Can I help you _sir_?”

Loki started; he had gotten rather lost in the beautiful girl’s brown eyes.

“Ah yes. I’m looking for---“

Before he could finish, a light seemed to ignite in the girls eyes, and she pointed a finger at him,

“You’re that dude’s brother! The tall blond one who needed some silly list of books that weren’t real. Jane told me what you looked like after her date with him. You two are like night and day.”

She finished with a smirk and gave him a non-subtle up-down, before humming appreciatively, and letting him work out exactly what she had said.

Loki frowned,

“You know my brother?”

Darcy nodded,

“Yup. He was in here a few days ago, before sweeping my best friend off her tiny feet.”

Loki cocked a dark eyebrow,

“So you’re the other one Natalie spoke of.” He grinned mischievously; delighting in the fact the girl had no clue who he was talking about.

“Only good stuff hopefully.” She grinned right back.

Loki shrugged,

“Oh, this and that. She failed to mention just how quick witted you were.”

Darcy mimicked his shrug,

“Perhaps that’s why she thought we’d get along so well.”

Loki blinked,

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. She wasn’t trying to introduce us. She was merely ‘warning’ me about you.”

Darcy laughed, a light sound that reminded Loki of a babbling brook,

“Warning? Oh gosh. That was one time! These fuddie-duddies need to get a life.”

Loki walked over and sat beside her, behind her desk, trying to ignore the sudden panicked look that flashed across her face.

“Tell me what you did.”

Darcy gulped, and tried not to bite her lip; it was a dreadful habit she’d gotten into after reading that awful book series.

“Well, first of all, no one can technically pin it on me, but . . .-”


	21. First Date...of Friends

Maria was extremely nervous. The mere fact Bruce wanted to meet with her _after_ reading her dirty story was quite confusing. She would have thought something like that would scare off a potential date.

She sat very still, wringing her hands on top of the table, as she waited for her coffee order to be announced.

She had texted Bruce back, and agreed, suggesting a different coffee shop miles away from Central Perk. It was too embarrassing to be seen at her place of employment on her day off. As if she couldn’t stand to stay away. How ridiculous.

The bell above the door chimed and she gulped, looking up to find Bruce, looking handsome as always with windswept dark brown hair, wearing a light teal button up shirt with dark washed jeans.

He spotted her and waved, striding over quickly.

Maria smiled tightly and thought furiously to herself, “Don’t screw this up.”

Bruce took the seat opposite her and looked at her expectantly,

“Did you order something? Should I?—“

She shook her head, before nodding,

“Er, yes. I ordered, so no. You don’t have to get me anything. Feel free to order something if you’d like.”

Bruce nodded,

“Alright. Be right back.”

He jumped up and hurried to get in line.

Maria could have bit her tongue. She had just managed to sound like a lunatic just trying to answer a simple question of his. When he began asking her about her writing she was afraid she might lose all ability to think coherently.

He returned a few moments later, steaming mug in hand, and it smelled faintly of hazelnut.

Maria tried to deflect him before he could speak, pointing to his drink,

“What’s that? It smells delicious.”

Bruce glanced down, looking frazzled, as if he had forgotten it,

“Ah. It’s a cappuccino or something. I just picked the first thing on the menu. I wanted to get back here as quick as I could.” He looked rather excited, as if perhaps he was looking forward to discussing her writing.

Maria wasn’t sure if this made her more nervous or helped calm her. No, it definitely made her more nervous.

She clasped her hands together, desperate to delay the inevitable,

“Ah! Well that’s great. Great.”

She looked about the shop, avidly studying the next few patrons who entered.

Bruce waved a hand in front of her face for a few moments before she noticed.

“Oh! Sorry.”

Bruce shrugged,

“It’s okay. I understand. Artistic people operate on different planes of existence. Tony dozes off like that all the time and when he’s back, he has some sort of hair brained idea that falls into place perfectly.”

Maria laughed, and winced at how forced and higher pitched than normal it sounded.

“Yes of course. _Tony_ the genius. But I assure you I have no sort of ‘daydream brainstorm’ sessions like he does. I get most of the ideas for my stories while I’m in the shower.”

She finished the sentence and hoped he wouldn’t take that last bit the wrong way. It sounded way too suggestive. Then again, considering the direction most of her stories went, perhaps it made sense in a strange way.

Bruce nodded,

“That’s cool. So if you hit some writers block, do you just leave it until the next morning, or evening, when you shower and the block dissolves in the water?”

Maria smiled warmly, feeling slightly relaxed for the first time,

“Umm not quite. But usually any chance I get to be alone with my thoughts helps me get them organized.”

Bruce nodded again, taking a cautious sip of his coffee, when he didn’t feel as if his tongue was on fire, he took a larger one.

Maria pretended not to notice the tiny bit of foam that had caught on his upper lip.

Bruce swallowed and licked his lips, thus taking care of said foam.

“So tell me, what inspired that story? The one you sent me.”

Curse the sudden and inevitable reason for the entire meeting!

Maria gulped, and tried to keep her face neutral as she thought of a reply.

***

Pepper shuffled around her apartment, having finished collecting all the rent checks. The sun had set nearly an hour ago. She felt exhausted and her stomach was growling. She knew it was late enough she could give Phil a call to check up on him, but she didn’t want to risk tying up her phone line and missing Tony’s call. He had said he would call later. She had thought later meant within the hour.

Her hands found their way up into her strawberry blond hair, absentmindedly twisting the long strands into braids as she pondered what to do.

The shrill sound of her phone ringing startled her from her thoughts. It seemed fate had decided for her.

It was in fact Tony.

“Hello?”

“Hey Pepper.”

“What’s up? I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Right? It has been almost eight hours since we’ve spoken.”

Pepper sat down on her couch, exasperated,

“Yes I know. I just thought you would be calling sooner.” She tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice. She didn’t want to be the needy girlfriend.

Tony sighed on the other end.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I got tied up with work and then Bruce drove me nuts as he was preparing for his date. He went out for coffee with Maria this afternoon did you know that?”

If Tony was trying to distract her from his shortcomings, it was working. She tried not to be a gossip monger, but she had heard through the grapevine that Maria had a bit of a thing for the mild mannered scientist. She was eager to hear what had come of it.

“No! I had no idea. What brought that about?”

“Well, last night, Maria emailed him a sample of her writing, and I got a look at it this morning. Let me tell you, that was some saucy stuff.”

“Oh really?”


	22. Trouble In Paradise?

A knock on the door startled Natalie from the trash TV she had been watching. She flicked it off and tossed the control to the side as she slowly got up from the couch to check the peephole, knowing it couldn’t be Maria home so early.

It was Clint.

She pulled the door open wide, and stood aside to let him in.

“Everything okay with you and Maria? Pepper said she heard you two fighting this morning.” He stood there, gazing at her with such concern she almost started tearing up.

“Nah. We’re fine. We did go at each other this morning, but it’s all worked out. She’s on a date with Brucie right now.”

Clint grinned, and reached out to pat her shoulder,

“Good for her, and I’m glad to hear everything’s okay on the home front.”

Natalie grabbed his hand before he could fully retreat.

“What’s really up? You know you can’t bullshit a bullshitter Clint.”

He laughed and strolled over to collapse on her couch, shrugging.

“Comfy.”

Natalie slammed the door shut and moved in front of the TV before he could turn it on and pretend to ignore her. Her hands moved to her hips and she glared fiercely at him,

“Let’s have it.”

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and looked her straight in the eye,

“Look Nat. You know I’m happy for you and Steve. I am. Truly. I just miss us. We never hang out anymore. Every time you come over to the apartment it’s to go out with him, or stay in with him. I feel like I’ve turned into the third wheel. You’ve done what we always swore not to. You’ve dumped me as a friend for your significant other.”

He looked away, the intensity of her stare becoming too uncomfortable to continue meeting.

The air was charged with electricity, whether it was sexual tension or simply anger, Natalie couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t meant to be like that. God. I’ve really turned into a bitch haven’t I?”

Clint shook his head, relaxing back against the couch again,

“No. You haven’t. You’ve just changed. The jury’s still out on whether it’s for better or worse. I won’t rip on Steve. He’s a great guy. He really is. He makes me feel like a douche sometimes. But is he really what you want? The white picket fence? Two and a half kids running around while you cook and clean and do laundry and have missionary style sex with him every night after work?”

Natalie chuckled, but her heart wasn’t in it,

“God. You make it sound so dull. Some girls dream about that sort of life.”

Clint stood up, and moved towards her so swiftly she barely had time to blink before he was inches from her,

“Tell me, is that what you dream of? Or do you want something raw, something unpredictable? The ability to jump on a flight to Paris tomorrow with no thought, no planning.”

Natalie had a hard time focusing and thinking of a logical answer when he was so close to her, his hot breath on her face, and she could almost smell the mint on his breath. He always chewed peppermints when he felt nervous or anxious. Clearly he had been thinking about this for a while now. She and Steve had only been dating a week or so, but she had had no idea how much it bothered him.

She put out a hand to his chest, gently pushing him back,

“I need some air. Some space. It’s not a ‘yes’ or a ‘no,’ I just need to think.”

Clint nodded, and quickly moved away from her, feeling the tension dissipate with every step.

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow at the coffee shop. It’s the usual gathering.”

Natalie nodded, and turned away, slumping onto the couch, and after hearing the door open and close, she fell back onto the cushions.

She was completely and utterly confused. A few hours ago she and Maria had been at one another’s throats over a stupid prank, and now she was unsure if she and Steve had any future.

What had happened?

***

“Brother! Are you home?”

Thor called out to Loki as he stepped inside their apartment. He heard no reply, only the loud mewling of Heimdall. It was long past his dinnertime.

Thor knelt down to pick up the disgruntled black cat, petting him gently and scratching behind his ears.

“Forgive me Heimdall. I lost track of time with Jane. We had such a glorious day at the zoo. We even saw some of your great ancestors.”

He smiled at the memory, and quickly made his way to the kitchen to fix some tuna for the cat.

When it was done and Heimdall was purring happily, chewing loudly, and his mood generally improved, Thor pulled out his cell phone, eager to get a hold of his brother.

After sending a quick text he decided to also call Steve and Clint, just in case they were all hanging out together.

“Hello?”

“Thor! Hi! How’ve you been? I feel like we haven’t hung out in ages.”

Thor laughed heartily, it was true. They had not all been in the same room since that pizza party weeks earlier.

“Indeed Steven. I have been well. I have been blessed with the opportunity to meet an angel. Jane. She works at the library. Loki was actually the catalyst for our meeting, but that’s another story. Tell me, is my brother with you?”

“Nope I’m afraid not. Clint’s not around either. He disappeared around seven and hasn’t been back. He looked like he was on a mission. Let’s hope it involved a pretty girl.”

“I agree! Well it was good to talk with you. Will you be at Central Perk tomorrow afternoon? It’s been over a week since we’ve all hung out.”

“Is that time? Already? Of course. I’ll be sure to remind Clint when he gets home. Thanks for the heads up. Time has just been flying. Have a good night Thor!”

“You as well Steven. Farewell.”

He hung up and grimaced at his phone. Loki had not yet replied to his text. He had no idea where he could be. Unless . . . he had said he was going to the library earlier that day. He knew Jane’s friend and roommate worked there as well, perhaps she would know.

He sent her a quick text, and smiled at the reply.

At least Loki wasn’t out causing trouble.


	23. The End of Two VERY Different Dates

“Thanks for paying for the cab home Bruce. I had a nice time.” Maria glanced down at her purple ballet flats, determined not to gaze dreamily at the guy she’d been crushing on for the last two months.

Bruce could see the blush forming on her cheeks and he tried to sound casual,

“No problem. Maybe we could do it again sometime?”

Maria jerked her head up in surprise, her cobalt eyes gleaming,

“Why, I’d like that. A lot. You really don’t mind the fact I practically write porn?”

Bruce chuckled, and felt himself relax,

“Nah. In fact I’m surprised you weren’t taken already. Guys love that stuff, in case you didn’t know.” He winked at her, and her blush darkened.

“I know. It’s just, I guess I was so afraid of what people would think; I never wanted to share my work. So in a way, I guess I should thank Natalie. She helped me out without meaning to.”

Bruce nodded, and pointed outside the elevator,

“This is the place.”

Maria looked over, stunned to see they had arrived already; it was so sweet of him to escort her to the apartment.

“Thanks again.”

Bruce stuck his hands in his jeans pockets,

“No problem. Have a good night.” He turned to walk away, and Maria couldn’t stop herself,

“Will I see you tomorrow at the coffee shop? I work a double before our meeting.”

He turned back, his green eyes meeting her worried blue ones,

“Of course. See you then.”

Maria bit the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning too widely,

“Okay. Goodnight.”

Bruce raised his hand in farewell as the elevator doors closed with a thunk.

She was something else. Something intriguing. He wouldn’t talk about her with Tony though; he knew he’d get teased.

***

Loki fell back against the sheets, panting and covered in sweat. He pushed a sweaty lock of dark hair out of his eyes and glanced over at his grinning bedmate.

“So that’s why you have to watch out for the quiet ones.” He mused, and he felt the bed shake as Darcy laughed.

“You could say that yeah. Did you want to stay the night, or do you prefer no cuddling?”

Loki raised a dark brow at her,

“Were you planning on kicking me out? After that?”

She shrugged, and he didn’t bother restraining himself from watching how it made her breasts move.

“It’s up to you. I’m a fan of cuddling but if you aren’t I’ve always got my pillow.”

Loki rolled his eyes,

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m much more fun to sleep with than a pillow.”

“Oh I know.” Darcy waggled her eyebrows at him mischievously and he couldn’t help laughing again. She was quiet amusing.

“Your roommate won’t mind feeding another breakfast?”

Darcy snorted,

“She doesn’t feed me. I go out for donuts and coffee. Besides, she’s dating your brother so she can’t complain. You two are practically related.”

Loki mimed gagging and she giggled,

“I hope not. She’s not my biggest fan. She’d kick me out for certain.”

“Good thing you didn’t just fuck her senseless then.”

Loki couldn’t argue with that.

“Then I’d have to worry about my brother kicking my ass for stealing his girl.”

Darcy looked thoughtful,

“Has that ever happened before?”

Loki frowned,

“No. Never. I would never betray his trust like that. No woman is worth destroying my brother’s trust for.”

Darcy glanced over at him, surprised,

“Whoa there. That got deep fast. Now, shut up. I’m tired and I have to work tomorrow.”

Loki traced a fingertip along her inner thigh, causing her to shiver and hum in response,

“Would you be interested in meeting the rest of my friends after work perhaps?”

“Mm-mm I dunno. Would it be weird?”

Loki shrugged,

“Probably. But if Thor brings Jane, then he can’t complain.”

Darcy snuggled closer to him,

“Alright fine. Just text me whenever. Now hush. Sleep.”

Loki gazed at her admiringly,

“Very well. Sleep well Darcy.”

***

It was almost nine o’clock. Pepper tapped her black kitten heel clad foot against the stool leg. She was waiting in Central Perk. She had been waiting nearly an hour. Tony had promised to meet her for a brief late breakfast before the rest of the gang showed up.

At half past, the door bell finally chimed and she turned to see a slightly disheveled and sunglasses wearing Tony Stark enter the café. He wore a dark suit with a pewter colored silk shirt, and no tie.

He slipped off his sunglasses and moved to embrace her. She didn’t flinch away, but neither did she melt into his arms.

“Where’ve you been?” she managed to say casually, without a hint of anger.

Tony pouted at her and pecked her on the cheek before replying,

“I’m sorry Pepper. Bruce was out all night and when he got back he woke me up at nearly the crack of dawn. So I decided to get up and work on some stuff, and thus only got about three hours of sleep. I could use some coffee.” He gestured to the barista, who began making his usual.

Triple strong espresso with extra foam.

Pepper rolled her eyes and leaned back from him,

“You could have called, or texted. What kept you so long?”

Tony hemmed and hawed until finally admitting he fell asleep at his desk.

Pepper reached out to rub a hand over his shoulder,

“Awww you poor baby. Is Bruce still coming though he was out late?”

Tony frowned as he gazed at her,

“I think so. Do you like him more than me now?”

Pepper smiled,

“Nah. I prefer my men at home at a decent hour.”

Tony nodded,

“That usually wouldn’t be me. But now I have to behave for you.”

He pouted again momentarily before being handed his coffee, which he accepted gratefully and took a large gulp of.

Pepper winced for him and exclaimed,

“Let it cool down a bit!”

Tony shook his head and waved a hand about impatiently,

“That’s part of my special drink. All the milk keeps it from being boiling hot. You worry too much.”


	24. The End

Bruce groaned and sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. The slamming of the front door as Tony rushed out had woken him up. He had gotten in so late last night, caught up in walking around the city with Maria, he hadn’t managed a full night’s sleep.

He felt as if he would never run out of things to talk to the raven haired beauty about. She was something else.

He knew it was horribly cliché and ridiculous after just one date, but technically he had known her for a long time, but he felt as if he could be falling for her.

When he finally rolled over to check his phone, he had 20 new text messages. Most were from the gang concerning his whereabouts, and a couple were from Tony, teasingly wondering if he felt up to joining the gang for their obligatory coffee hang out.

He rolled his eyes and texted a reply.

Of course he would be there. He would make sure Maria was also.

He decided to try and count this as their second date.

***

Steve was humming as he cooked his and Clint’s breakfast. For some reason it made Clint’s headache worse. The confession Natalie had made the night before had been weighing on him all night, and he hadn’t slept well.

  
“Could you not.” He muttered to Steve, collapsing on the couch in front of their TV, for all his energy had been spent on simply getting out of bed.

Steve turned to look curiously at his roommate, his brow furrowed in concern underneath his messy blond hair.

“Everything okay Clint?”

Clint groaned,

“No. God no.”

The “Bro’s before Ho’s” mentality did not work in this case, as he practically considered Natalie like a ‘bro,’ and he could not simply push her aside. He wouldn’t dare think it, but he was scared he was in love with her. And not like a sister. You didn’t have threesomes with your sister and best friend. Unless you were on that medieval times fire and ice show that is.

“What’s wrong?” Steve plated the eggs and bacon effortlessly and walked over to hand them to Clint, who sat up slowly, and reluctantly.

Clint frowned and pointed to the plate.

“This. This is wrong. This is why you’re all wrong. Wrong for her.”

Steve’s frown grew, and he looked confused as heck.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

Clint stood up, slapping the plate away and Steve looked thunderstruck, but before he could voice his confusion, Clint yelled,

“Natalie! You’re wrong for her. She doesn’t love you. She’s just treading water with you. Everyone knows when you tread water eventually you get tired.”

Steve’s face fell and sadness showed in his eyes as comprehension dawned.

“She said that?” his voice was barely above a whisper.

Clint could have bit his tongue,

“Yes. She told me last night.”

It was Steve’s turn to collapse onto the couch, and his head fell into his hands,

“Why couldn’t she have told me? Why didn’t she come to me? We could have worked it out, I’m sure of it.”

Clint bit his lip, and set his hand carefully on his friends shoulder,

“She didn’t want this. She didn’t want you hurt. It’s my fault. Don’t be mad at her.”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut tightly, he didn’t want to cry.

“I can’t. I can’t be mad at anyone. I knew that something like this would happen. Things were going too perfectly.”

Clint sighed,

“Nobody’s perfect man. Nothing is perfect. We’re human. We make mistakes. We fuck things up.”

“How can I see her now, today? After what’s happened?”

Steve looked up at him, and he looked so broken, Clint hated himself immediately. He didn’t deserve this.

He managed a weak smile,

“At least you live on different floors.”

Steve nodded sadly,

“True. There’s that.”

Clint glanced at the clock above the sink and hissed in annoyance, like an angry cat.

“Dammit. It’s almost time to go to Central Perk. You want to stay here? I’ll make up some excuse.”

Steve nodded again, and gestured to the mess Clint had made,

“Tell them I wanted to get a head start on the spring cleaning. They love a good joke. Any chance to poke at ol’ Steve.” He smiled feebly, and began clearing up the dirty dishes that had not been broken.

Clint slapped him on the shoulder,

“Jeezus. Lighten up. It’s not like that. I’ll punch Tony if he gets fresh.”

Steve managed another weak smile,

“Okay thanks man. You’d better get going.”

Clint didn’t bother with any sort of spiel, like ‘It’s just a rough patch, things like this happen. No I didn’t fuck your girlfriend, yet.’

That never helped anyone.

***

Natalie cocked a red eyebrow at her roommate as she exited the bathroom.

“Someone was out rather late. Do tell.”

Maria blushed a becoming shade of pink as she started towel drying her hair.

“Now stop it. You’ve stayed out later with Steve, or rather, in.”

Natalie’s playful grin tightened, but Maria, in her lovesick haze didn’t notice.

“Well we had coffee at this place, not where I work thank god. Then we went for a walk, and just started talking, and never stopped, at least until it got dark and cold and we wandered back home.”

“Naughty girl. Out after dark. The very notion. I declare.”

Natalie mimicked squinting through spectacles to go with her fake cockney accent, and Maria cracked up.

“So the girl _does_ have a sense of humor!”

Maria shrugged,

“I think Bruce makes me happy. I’ve never felt this happy before.”

Natalie gave a mock gasp,

“You’ve never had an orgasm before? Oh dear, haven’t you ever learned how to—“

Maria squealed so loud Natalie had to plug her ears.

“God! Shut up. I didn’t mean it like that. Besides, it’s not my fault I’m not a slut.”

Natalie gasped for real this time, and pointed at her friend,

“Excuse me? Who’s the one who writes soft core porn? Not this ‘slut.’” Natalie provided the finger quotes in the air to further tease her friend.

But Maria only rolled her eyes,

“Oh now. You know what I meant.”

“Having a threesome does not qualify for slut-dom.”

Maria raised her eyebrows skeptically,

“Oka-a-ay, so maybe it tips the scale in favor, but still.”

Natalie was wincing internally about recalling just _who_ had been involved in that threesome, but managed to look defiant outwardly.

“Now hurry up and get ready, we need to be at your lovely place of employment in less than an hour.”

Maria frowned,

“You know it takes me two hours to get ready, and dry my hair. You can’t rush art.”

Natalie rolled her eyes,

“Oh let it air dry. Bruce just likes you for your mind after all.”

Maria balled up the towel and threw it at her.

She barely ducked in time.

“You earned it!” Maria called as she disappeared back into her bedroom.

***

Thor was awakened by a thumping noise at the front door. He looked at his clock and realized the hour, and the fact his brother had spent the night away from home.

“Loki!”

He roared, and the answering laugh proved his guess correct.

“It is I brother. Come to wake you for the gathering. Get dressed quickly, I am starving. I didn’t eat at Darcy’s . . . unless you count---“

Thor groaned,

“Enough brother! Do not tarnish my Jane’s friend’s virtue with your filthy speech.”

Loki chuckled again and tapped his foot on the ground mockingly,

“Come now, don’t tell me you haven’t made the beast with two backs with _your_ lovely Jane yet?”

Thor emerged from his bedroom, long blond beach waves straggly and tangled,

“That is none of your business. Some things are sacred.”

Loki shrugged,

“Whatever. At least I know my Darcy is more adventurous than your Jane could dream of being.”

Thor shoved him towards the elevator for his troubles and Loki merely smirked.

He’d just had the question answered for him.

***

Nick glanced out into the shop, smiling at the group of friends who were occupying the center of the room. They all appeared happy to see each other, and he almost wished he had had a close group of friends like them when he had been their age. Phil was one of his few close friends, and was kept so busy by his work they barely spoke once a week if once a month. Pepper still hung around, as she kept claiming she was working, though Nick could tell she just liked being around her new boyfriend. Tony Stark. Who would have thought he was boyfriend material?

He’d finally popped the question moments before the gang arrived, and Pepper’s cheeks had gone almost the color of her hair as she nodded yes.

She only stayed away from the group as she wouldn’t admit it, but she felt shy. She only knew Bruce and not well at that. The rest she knew from rent collecting, and an easy friendship with Natalie, but everyone else was simply a familiar face.

***

When Natalie questioned the absence of Steve and Clint gave his excuse, Tony took over the conversation for him; joking about the habits of the average gay male, and Clint simply sat back and did nothing to correct him.

Natalie met his gaze and he merely blinked twice, and she nodded, looking away with a fake smile plastered over her mouth.

They could communicate wordlessly and did whenever necessary. She knew the truth. Steve was choosing the noble route, and simply giving her space. She wasn’t angry with him, she couldn’t be. It was her selfishness that had brought about this entire mess. She and Clint had managed to keep it from the rest of their friends, and she intended to keep it that way.

She smiled warmly towards Jane, Thor’s new lady, and her fellow librarian, and couldn’t help but beam at Maria who tentatively held Bruce’s hand. Tony kept stealing glances toward Pepper, across the room at the bar, in between jokes, and even Loki managed to rib him about that with no consequences.

 

They might not share all their secrets with each other, but in the end, they were still the closest group of friends one could ask for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy moly this has been an epic journey. I hope you all enjoyed taking it with me, and i'm sorry for the long gaps between updates.


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